post traumatic stress Community Group

for people who have been diagonose with ptsd

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Winter 12/29/2021

Post Traumatic Stress hurts so bad. It also hurts those around the person who is suffering from this. The reason it hurts the person who is dealing with this, the victim's relatives do not know how to help them. They try and try but nothing seems to help. They work so hard in what they do, that person thinks that what they are doing will help lighten the stress but unfortunately it doesn't help and then there are the same emotions of feeling like a failure again. At times the person who is having problems with PSTD is not a pleasant person, sometimes they'll make you feel that you are the bad person. They talk about the abuse they had received then act it out. You love this person regardless of whether it is a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend. I find it painful when I am talking, letting my heart out and the person I am talking to is thinking that I am lying to them and that I do not mean anything I am saying. I will remind them of the time when it was happening to me, but they still think I am lying to them. I just close my mouth and give up. I will go to another place and do something else. Like, do laundry, or some other type of chore. I do not want to talk about anything else or about anyone. The other part is that they do not realize that others are hurting too. It is just them and no one else understands their pain. It is horrible.

The person who is dealing with post-traumatic stress is my mother. She is sad because of no communication with her other kids; she feels guilty that she is ruining the lives of the kids who live with her. I have no more words to say, my hands are up in the air and not knowing what else. The only thing I can do is pray for her and let God take over.

MKing 02/12/2022

This is interesting and I am sorry for the pain you are carrying. I was diagnosed with PTSD at 50, this year. It's been a roller coaster for myself of course, but also for those around me. Like your mother, I have some difficulty expressing what is going on at times. I know that others are also impacted by my own distress and try hard to work on myself, so I do not share my own struggles or at least minimize the impact but it's something that I need to work on daily. I don't know if it might help but I have been reading "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk. It's interesting and gets into the biology of the disorder. I think that it can give you a little understanding of what the person may be processing and help with an understanding. Also, I'd let them know that you read it, find it interesting and ask them some questions about it. See if they might read it as well. Demystifying struggles like PTSD is really tricky but I find that concrete science and evidence-based practice can really make a positive change. That is at least what I am trying at this moment.

MKing 02/12/2022

Also, those of us suffering with PTSD need to hear from others whom we know on what the impact is, in a positive way as best as possible. Your voices can really help. It's obvious to me upon reading your post that you are a caring individual who is trying to help. I think that should be recognized. I am sure that your mother recognizes it even if she is not always able to show it with words. My best to you

Winter 02/14/2022

I do not share my feelings at all with my mother. In fact, I come on daily strength and talk, this is the only way to get my sadness out. I am not saying anything negative at all about what my mother is going through because she can't help it, I got that. But it hurts to see someone like a parent, sibling, or friend have this problem all the time because some selfish mean cruel person decided that they wanted to know the answers. It is not that my mother kept secrets from her kids, she tried many times when she told them about things that happened in the early times of her life and I remember when she tried to tell a sibling about her father but instead, all my one sibling did was argued with my mother told her that she is lying. In 2014, they did a family tree of the family (most of them I have not met). This sibling had told my mother that he saw that her father was a police chief (like my mother once told them years ago but they did not believe her and argued with her.) I felt that it was her past, her story, they nor myself was not born so how could we especially them tell my mother she is lying about her life? Agree?

I had did a lot of research about people who have post-traumatic stress, it is not a fun thing to have. I probably have it myself. Over the years I had low self-esteem (I am better at accepting myself today). I was a self-critic but now I am older I am more lenient but I worry more. Because of the worry and fear I do not sleep much or eat much but looking at my body will tell someone that I eat a lot. I guess the pounds I have on my body are from water gain and stress.

MKing 02/19/2022

Wow I’m sorry. You and your mother sound like amazing people. Believe it or not it’s helpful for me to hear your story albeit an obvious struggle that I wish you did not need to bear. My PTSD has been hard for me and those around me. I’m so thankful I have those around me however. It’s an insidious diagnoses but there is hope. I must believe that. And I believe it for you and your mother. My best to you and thank you for sharing.

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