Positive Attitude for Anxious People Community Group
Learning to develope a positive attitude, talking about positive things in our lives and the world.
I lived a lifetime of having a negative attitude. And hearing it from mom. When will the positive attitude I'm trying to learn become natural? Also have an anxious brain. That automatically goes to negative outcomes. Trying to work on that also.
Barbara
Barbara
It is a process that is different for everyone. I grew up in a VERY negative environment and then ran away from home.....only to marry what I ran away from (like attracts like). I had a breakdown back in 1991....kinda bounced back and 10 years later attempted suicide.....the emotional pain was more than I could bear.
I was in intense therapy for over 20 years and went through a very nasty divorce.....and my ex turned all our kids against me.....which also took 3 out of 4 grand kids with them.
I have had to start all over at 54 years old (I turn 55 in a few weeks). My nasty dad passed away 3 years ago and now I am left taking care of my nasty negative mom....she never wanted me and has told me so. However, my brother (her favorite child) passed away 40 years ago in a motorcycle accident at the age of 16....5 days before my 15th birthday and 2 weeks before Christmas.
So as you can see I have had to deal with tons of negativity, loss, bullying, abuse, and anxiety. I have shared most of my story to let you know I can relate and not to lesson your pain/story. I want you to know it IS possible to overcome the hand you have been dealt.
I have kept after it constantly these past 3 years. I scouted youtube looking for relaxation videos....ones to overcome anxiety (I had GADS). I have been med free for the past year and a half. That is becuz I spent many hours listening to positive messages and reviewing my own life. I spend less time with mom. She lives in an Independent Living facility. She has her own apartment. When I started feeling better about myself with the help of my therapist and constantly reviewing my life. I found out I am a really nice, sensitive, loving.....POSITIVE person who deserves better than what I ACCEPTED. I now demand respect, love, loyalty, and positive people in my life. If a person can't play nice.....I walk away. I now care about myself and realize that there is no one to take care of me and it is MY responsibility to take care.....AND LOVE myself.
I have stopped waiting for my mom to love me the way I want. I am positive around her despite her meanness......and that has changed her as well. When she starts to complain......I walk away and when I see or talk to her again.....her attitude changed to better. By me sticking to my guns (it is difficult when I had been programmed all my life to be the scapegoat)....it has changed those around me. They either behave (trust me....they will test you, but as long as you are consistent.....they will catch on) or they end up leaving your life.....sad as it is....it makes room for positive ppl to enter our lives which is a good thing.
Be patient with yourself. Turning positive will NOT happen over night. However, you do have to work at it constantly on a daily basis. You have to catch yourself and when you are thinking a negative thought or saying something badly about yourself (or others).....counter it with something positive.
Listen to positive music......read positive materials..........TURN OFF THE NEWS AND WEATHER......and stop reading it too! (this is key). I have NO idea what is going on with IS and other crap going on in the world. Instead, I watch comedies and concentrate on good things and how blessed I am. I go on gratitude rants (I walk around my house looking for and saying out loud the things I am thankful/grateful for). The little things start adding up and before you know it......I am feeling positive and happy :)
Life is what you make it......happiness is a choice....it really is.
It takes work......it takes the same amount of time and energy to become positive as it is to be negative. Most ppl are programmed from early on to be negative......it contagious.....but then....so is being positive. Again.....Like attract Like! (Law of attraction).
Well....I've rambled on. Hope it helps and know that not giving up will eventually get you where you wanna be ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
Hang in there!
I've been told that the subconscious believes everything we tell. (it does not recognize a lie) When we say negative things to it. it believes it. If we say positive things, it believes it (even though we may not be convinced yet)
Here is a day by day positive Hug for you today.