You just have to plug on girlfriend! You can never give up. Rest when you need to, work when you have the energy. Like the comments were made last week, with a high profile athlete now having an AI disease, maybe a little more research will be done. Please hang in there, don't give up!

Leanne

Freelee - I am so sorry you feel this way, and I know how your feel. My faith is the way for me - absolutely. I memorize verses and it renews my strength every morning "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Phil 4:13. Please keep emailing so we know how you are doing. It's so important to communicate. We are here for you.
Love Hugs and Prayers :-)

I have a personal relationship with God that keeps me going. I grew up lonely and felt unloved so I could only look up. I was divorced after a very short marriage and was a single mom for many years. Again I could only look up, so in facing those obstacles in life I fell that I can handle anything that is thrown my way. I wake every morning in pain. A pain that tells me I am still alive and have a chance to do something else that I haven't done before no matter how minimal.

I have a conversation with God each morning, thanking Him, telling Him how I feel about things and life. Crying if need be over memories that are both sad and good. I was not always at this point in my life, but I am so happy that I am there now.

I know that you have many concerns and that they are probably wearing you down, but never give up or give in. If you don't have great doctors that address your concerns, find some. Think about what it is that you need and don't stop looking until you find it. I hope that you are better one day at a time so that you will notice that you are getting better.

Freelee, I am so sorry you are feeling down. I commend you for expressing it and asking for help. When I feel that way I make a gratitude list, I know it sounds corny but it really helps me change my mindset. I get down to the very basics, like grateful to be able to type my thoughts, grateful that I have my mind, grateful for my friends, grateful for my faith in a higher power. Just try it and hopefully it will help you get out of the spiral of 'I dont' know how much longer I can go on like this'. You said you are not depressed, and I respect that but when you feel hopeless depression is not far around the corner. Sometimes it is good to get some help while you still have the ability to, I have been so depressed in the past that I couldn't even arrange getting help for myself and someone else did it for me. I also belong to a 12 step group that really helps me not isolate and helps me reach out and work with others. I will be thinking of you.
Love and Light
Maruska

Freelee, I am so sorry you are feeling down. I commend you for expressing it and asking for help. When I feel that way I make a gratitude list, I know it sounds corny but it really helps me change my mindset. I get down to the very basics, like grateful to be able to type my thoughts, grateful that I have my mind, grateful for my friends, grateful for my faith in a higher power. Just try it and hopefully it will help you get out of the spiral of 'I dont' know how much longer I can go on like this'. You said you are not depressed, and I respect that but when you feel hopeless depression is not far around the corner. Sometimes it is good to get some help while you still have the ability to, I have been so depressed in the past that I couldn't even arrange getting help for myself and someone else did it for me. I also belong to a 12 step group that really helps me not isolate and helps me reach out and work with others. I will be thinking of you.
Love and Light
Maruska

I'm sorry you are feeling overwhelmed Freelee. I think we all feel this way from time to time. I know I do. But luckily it doesn't stick around long. When I feel this way, I find things I can do that I enjoy. I like to get lost in a book. I also have a few blogs I follow that make me feel optimistic or make me laugh. I listen to my favorite music and I get some of my favorite flowers for the house.

If you feel you can't get out of the funk, I would talk to your doctor. Although you are not depressed, you seem to be feeling overwhelmed. It isn't uncommon for people with chronic illness to take medication to help them cope with it. Don't be shy if you need help.

We understand and are here for you.

Ditto, Lexi....This disease can just our butts sometime....when I'm feeling frustrated and tired of it all, I try to get a good night's rest...more often than not, things look better in the morning...I also take an anti-depressant called Lexapro....when my doc prescribed it for me, it was a miracle...not only did it help my mood but also helped my pain to a degree...when dealing with a chronic illness with pain, it destroys certain brain chemicals and alters brain function....sometimes a med such as an anti-depressant can bring you out of that hole... hope this helps!

Maggie

*kick our butts....

Freelee,
I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. I'm sure you already know that exercise can stimulate the production of brain chemicals that will help your mood. Can you start just taking a short walk, or ask your doc to order PT to help you get moving?

I also take Lexapro and highly recommend trying medication to alleviate your depression, and counseling is another recommendation if you have insurance or can cover the cost.

It sounds like you really need some help right now, and I only wish I could do more. Post here more often, ok?
~Lucky

Freelee,
you are in my thoughts and prayers. for me prayer helps, as does a strong support system of family and this wonderful forum. Do not give up, life is precious. I know as I almost (and should have) left this world in 2009 when my sodium and potassium levels plummeted to a critical and near coma level.
Every day that we can keep plugging on is a true blessing. this illness sucks and is not for the faint of heart. Have you thought about a TENS unit for pain relief?
Your smile is important. Your contributions are important, and you are important to all of us.
tracy

@lela2: who?

Freelee
Don't give up or give in. Everyone here has eloquently spoken and given great advice. About the only thing I can add to their comments is to say, Fight, Fight, Fight. When I experience one of my low points throughout this PM journey, it helps me to become more proactive about my health. As some others, I rely heavily on my faith in the Lord, and I pray and ask for wisdom to find answers to my problems. I do believe that the Lord is the One who showed me that gluten, MSG, and artificial sweeteners were causing much of my joint pain and swelling, and that I was deficient in Vitamin D and Magnesium. I also believe that the Lord used my newest doctor to discover my Epstein-Barr Virus problem, thus recommending the supplement Lauricidin which has helped so much. Bottom line, I go into "fight mode" and get angry with my disease, pain, and limitations; and then I search and search for answers. I haven't found all the answers yet, but have found enough of them to make me feel empowered, in less pain, and more in control. I would recommend that you try everyone's suggestions until you find what will work for you. I will be praying for you. And I'm glad you decided to post this discussion. Keep posting with us. We want to be an encouragement to you (and each other in the process).

Freelee, I too take Lexapro and it's helped tremendously, but my faith in God my husband, and friends that I've met on this forum, have kept me going.Beating these diseases are tough, but we are tougher, especially when fighting for the same cause. Blessings and prayers,
Kim

you are all so good and kind and helpful and wonderful people. thank you. I will try and post more often. I need the support of this group.