I have spent my entire adult lifetime taking care of myself and my children. I didn't really have anyone other than paid babysitters to help me at all. Now that I am stuck with PM, I have to ask for help in many areas of my life and it is so hard. I have even been having a hard time turning everything over to God who I know is always available for me and wants me to ask for his help. I know that my mental state would be under much less stress if I would turn everything over to Him, but I always feel like I can handle the simple and that I am responsible for me. The other day I was taken by total surprise when my youngest son asked me to seriously consider moving in with his family and allowing him, my daughter and his wife to support me and I just get better. He had spoken about it a few months ago after his dad died, but we hadn't really talked about it, but this time he told me about how he has watched me always do everything myself and never allow anyone else to do anything for me. He said that I have worked long enough and that we can get a bigger place and move in together and he included his sister, which really made my heart feel good. My daughter had plans that she and I would always live together, even after she marriies because she wants me to homeschool her children. The fact that I could stop working a job that no longer brings me joy and do volunteer work or something at my church makes me so happy. My daughter has already been trying to find a better job so that she can pay for my medical insurance in case I do have to leave my job. My insurance is all that I want from this job.

Then my mother called me Monday morning and asked if I can get disability that I should come up to MI and stay with her and my sister, who she took back from TN to stay with her while she goes through rehab for her aneursym. I would consider going for a few weeks, but I have grands who would not take too likely to me leaving FL. It is such a Blessing to feel that people even my own children want to change their lives to accommodate me. I am so Blessed. My responsibility is to find houses for us to look at and to contact my former coworkers who are now in real estate. I am so grateful and will never take anything for granted.