Hey Buttercup, I decided to use a weedeater yesterday to help clear the weeds on my mother's acre. I was impressed with my stamina yesterday. I was able to work in spurts of thirty minutes then rest twenty minutes. I worked a full day. It was 93 degrees too. I took vitamin D3 and my B12 before starting work. I drank a lot of Gatoraid too. I did feel like I needed to vomit on several occasions, but I would rest and try again. I did become dizzy. I slipped on some dirt and fell on my rear end. I got back up and rested for a while. I was just thrilled to see some accomplishment on the yard. I did feel like hell periodically, but I was grateful that I persisted anyway.

I do feel like my accomplishments are one fourth of what I used to be able to get done in a day physically. Mentally, I am so DIRT SLOW when it comes to thinking, doing paperwork, or accomplishing tasks at my standards of acceptable level.

Today, my muscles in my arms are weak and filled with tremors. My legs are weak too. I do have some nausea present today that was thankfully not there yesterday.

I do think that everyone on this site deals with the same issues that you describe in your post. I do normally have an aversion to activity because of the on - off feelings of well then bad that alternate.

I would like to get a part - time job, but I do have concerns about the ability to be reliable. On a normal day, I need to lay down a couple times due to feeling bad. On days when I feel seriously bad, I need to lay down a lot. The seriously bad days are totally unscheduled and unpredictable.

I do not socialize much due to concerns that I can not commit to an event.

I do have similar feelings about the crappola through my veins. I have liver disease. If the liver disease becomes bilary cirrhosis then I would have literal crappola in the veins. HA! We shall see what the future holds!

I do not get depressed about my situation since I think that is a waste of time. I do use my time to try and study the bible more. Just thank The Lord for the testing opportunity, get back on the saddle and think about those scriptures. It takes a strong faith/trust in what you claim to share His happiness. Stay filled with The Spirit, I John 1:9 and be encouraged with The Word Proverbs 3:13. That is success.

I also try to find new things to include in my diet to help feel better physically too. When I really drag, I will juice and that helps.

You are not alone!

Hi Buttercup - sorry you feel that this today - as you know we all get this sometime or other. I have DM and am really fed up with it and tearful at times. BUT I will not let it get me down too much - today I had a really good day apart from my damn hands being swollen most of the time. It is really frustrating, the swelling goes slightly down in the afternoon and evening and you think "great it may be fine tomorrow" and the next morning its back to the swelling and pain again. Believe me, it is a nightmare and I totally agree with you, this is not quite the life I thought it would be in my 50's! I just try to think ahead of good things to do and see my friends as much as possible. I think the secret it to try to take your mind off this as it can be very time consuming and the more you think about it the worse you can make yourself. Take care.

Hi Buttercup. I believe your pain comes from your Fibromyalcia. I am so sorry you have this on top of PM. Pain is a horrible thing and it wears you out. The light at the end of your tunnell is that they do know the Fibro goes away with time. Amber. I am sorry you are still having problems with your hands, they just have to get your Meds right. After all this time you must be really fed up with it all. It takes a lot of courage to be stoic on a daily basis. Are you happy with your Rheumatologist, have you considered a second opinion perhaps at kings College. Just a thought. Best wishes to you both. Autumm

Hi Autumn, I am now seriously considering a second opinion. Kings College is not near where I live, would I have to go private? or could I do this on the NHS? I have a sneaky suspicion that although I definitely have DM, my hands are another issue as I have had really bad Repetitive Strain in my hands and elbows. My Rheumy is concentrating totally on trying to get the swelling down from my knuckles - it affects only 2 fingers on both hands. Apart from that it is only the tops of my arms that hurt - the rest is relatively OK. I am totally at crossroads with all this and don't really know what the next step is.

Its the worst roller coaster ride ever. Hard to make plans because everyday is a toss of the dice. Yesterday I was in a lot of pain. today it is bearable. Seems like no rhyme or reason why one day can be so miserable and the next day not so bad. When I do have a good day I make sure I enjoy it. When I have a bad day I make sure I enjoy it.!! Better than the alternative.

Hello cup, yoiu are not alone. I am 58 and was a single mom all my years just looking forward to this time of being able to go wherever I chose and do whatever I wanted without considering the additional cost or demands of a child. I ever helped raise my sister's two child, one while she went to jobcorp and another with her when she came over to my house every day, before I could make it home. I seemed to carry the weigh of the world and was looking forward to my own time, then in 2009 I lost my job and oin 2011 after many visits to various doctors who had no answers for me, I was diagnosed with PM and life has been hell every since. At one point I was able to walk and drive, but in Nov 2012 I started going backwards and now the neuropathy is getting worse and worse. I am never, ever without pain and not just a little pain, but pain so bad that I want to slap someone upside the head multiple times with a hammer and I am not a violent person. My fingers are hard and I have no control of them. They jump up and down striking the keyboard as if I am trying to play the drums. My mind has a mind of it's own. It types whatever letters it chooses and I have to continuously delete letters/words and start over. I can;t spell, so I have to either proofread everything or apologize for my misspellings as I get tired of re-spelling words, as I will do not as I am not going to proofread this. I am on so much pain meds that it is unbelievable, but they do not stop the pain but makes it so that I can tolorate it. I take 30 mgs Opana ER twice a day. I also take a 10 mg Opana break thru twice a day as needed and that is a joke. I take gabapentin and lyrica plus Nor something at night as needed and I try to take that no more than 2-3 times a week and even then I take only one as two will have me so dowsy that I can't function the next day or two. My ankles ar ethe main problem as they have been swollen like huge grapefruits since about Feb. I went t a new primary doctor last week who is running some tests to see if it is my heart or liungs that may be causing hte swelling as the specialist, rhuemy and neurologist have not been able to determine what may be causing hte swelling. my diabetic nurse stated that it may be the prednisone but never ran any test and my prior pain specialist was talking about giving me some type of shot before I have to change insurances and the new pain specialist has seenme only once and didn't know what was causing it either.

We seem to be expected to suffer our pain along with everything else regrding this illness alone and if we do come up with an answer to why or how, well so be it. No one seems to know anything regarding this illness or what we are suppose to do in treating it, but us. Now that I am no longer working, I guess I can do more research, but at this point I am too tired to even research anything, but maybe I will again sooner or later. Right now I am trying to control what I can and make plans for the future when I am not longer on STD. It seems that now I am getting calls and letters regarding my STD from my insurance company regarding possible repayment when I have just started to get any type of payment from them and my brain tends to shut down after a few hours in the morning so I can only focus on a few times at at time and the pain is one that I no longer want to focus on. I guess that I have accepted it as a given for now. In fact I just woke up a couple of hours ago after taking more pain medication. I am sorry that you are going thru this, but once you have found your way around it and come to terms with what works best for you, you will be able to function with it your way. No proofing for me.