Polyamory Community Group
A place to discuss living a polyamorous lifestyle - the joys, the challenges and everything in between. Polyamory (a hybrid word -poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love - coined by among others Neopagan poet, author, lecturer, and priestess Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart) means "The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at...
Hey guys, I'm new to this page not really new to poly as a subject. I think my type of poly is looked down on though? I'm in a triad style relationship. My "primary" (I don't know if that's proper terminology here) and I have been together for five years, we have a daughter (one and a half year old). We've gone through four "secondary" females, but haven't been able to find a good fit. We finally found a new girlfriend though, someone I dated in highschool for a brief period, and that's been going on for about six months. My question is do you guys think a relationship started like this could last. I'm happy and in love with the both of them, but I've seen many people say that having a "primary" and looking for a "secondary" to add onto your relationship doesn't really work out. Are there reasons for this? The archetype I've seen is like a "pixie dream girl" and I feel like that's a pretty rude statement lol. Sorry for the long post, just wanted some outside perspective and understanding. Thanks.
I think you are very fortunate to have had the sort of life experience you have had with more than one partner, and that whether or not your relationships conform to any particular conceptual relationship model is of of secondary importance.
What is important is how you all feel and treat each other. On how long your relationships will last. Who's to say? Relationships last as long as they do. There's no way to guarantee any predetermined time, and thinking there is, is only an illusion.
On polyamory itself, just for the sake of discussion, I'm not a fan of hierarchies and labels like "primary" and "secondary" because by their nature, they imply value judgments that aren't necessarily fair.
Perhaps you might want to check out my page on Bias in Polyamory: http://polyamory.today/Content/Bias_P01.htm
There's a section there on Poly Hierarchies. In the meantime. Welcome to the forum! I have found this to be a very accepting platform with a lot of good people who have good ideas.