I understand this feeling. My husband and wants to do this and I’m trying to be okay and understanding but every time we get close to it actually happening, I just feel like it will be the thing that breaks me. I feel selfish for this being the thing I can’t do since the rest of our relationship is good. He hasn’t actually done more than have initial conversations but it’s enough to throw me into a depression most of the time.

Jealousy is a complicated emotion. What people sometimes assume is jealousy is actually something else, like a combination of feeling ignored, lied to, underappreciated, disrespected, and alone.

This leaves you feeling helpless and angry. That's perfectly normal. It's part of your fight or flight response. The question is which course of action is the right one — Fight? Flight? Or something else?

Depending on the circumstances, any one or all choices can be perfectly valid. We understand the concepts of fight or flight pretty well. But what about the others? Do you have any alternatives? If not, maybe try the CHART method.

- Communication
- Honesty
- Appreciation
- Respect
- Time

If one starts to go down. Use the other to give it strength. For example, if someone is feeling a little disrespected, Use the rest to help heal that sore spot. You won't need to fight or run away once you get this method down.

I feel like when I try my hardest to share a feeling and communicate to share what I am thinking, I get told that I am being negative, complaining, or whatever. Which just triggers my fight or flight even more. And in those moments are when I am sharing my jealousy.