Polyamory Community Group
A place to discuss living a polyamorous lifestyle - the joys, the challenges and everything in between. Polyamory (a hybrid word -poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love - coined by among others Neopagan poet, author, lecturer, and priestess Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart) means "The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at...
What are some of the base rules that are good to set for polyamory? My hubby and I have been trying to get off the ground for a while, though we are currently taking a break for working on our relationship just us two because of issues with alcoholism (unrelated). When we do try poly again (first serious try ended almost a year ago) I want to be prepared with a list of guidelines so we know where we stand on things, like of course I want condom/damm use for safety, and not having people over at all hours and times unless we've all met in public first. But what other rules do you guys suggest to keep a relationship running smoothly when poly? Or am I being too rigid ?
Discuss it before. during if possible and after.
Find like minded people, find successful people as well.
Never rush into things, have a few dinners and get togethers in public too.
Learn from your mistakes and grow in your openness.
The biggest mistakes will always be secrets, control jealousy as well. Not every interaction will be rockets and fireworks. Allow yourselves to be ok with failures.
1. Honesty
2. Appreciation
3. Respect
For example, in order to for there to be honesty; some communication must take place. This can be within one's self and/or with others. In other words we need to be honest not only with each other, but also ourselves. To do that requires communication with others as well as self-reflection.
Appreciation requires that there be some empathy or meaningful connection with the value of others, and respect tempers honesty with emotional intelligence.
The beauty of using this starting point is that one doesn't need to remember all the nuances because they evolve naturally so long as the first three are in place. That being said, we're only just touched the tip of the iceberg here.