Polyamory Community Group

A place to discuss living a polyamorous lifestyle - the joys, the challenges and everything in between. Polyamory (a hybrid word -poly is Greek for many and amor is Latin for love - coined by among others Neopagan poet, author, lecturer, and priestess Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart) means "The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at...

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Curious

CelticMermaid
CelticMermaid

Is it possible to love your spouse, want to be with them forever kind of love, but have feelings for another?  I have reconnected with someone who I once wasn't all that interested in and now, decades later...I feel drawn to them both physically and emotionally.  However, I still have very stong feelings for my spouse who I love with all my heart.  I am now contemplating if polyamory would work for me/us.  Sincere advice and guidance appreciated.  

rediris
rediris
I don't have advice, but I want you to know you're not alone in feeling that way! I don't have advice because I'm going through the same feelings/desires. I haven't figured it out yet. My delimma is that my boyfriend (of five years) is strictly monogamous. Do you know how your spouse feels about polyamory?
CelticMermaid
CelticMermaid
He isn't opposed to it, but I think the person I am interested in might be an issue. I think my spouse might fear there is to much of a connection. I don't know how to ease his fears. I don't want to lose him, I love him, I just also have feelings for someone I knew in High School that I have reconnected with. , Funny thing is, I didn't feel this way about them in high school but I now feel sexually drawn to them.
rediris
rediris
Yes, that makes sense. Does your husband know the person you reconnected with? I can see how that would complicate things, rather than the person being a stranger. Assuming you haven't already, lay it on him easy. Is there anyone else he's interested in? Would it be okay to start slow by going on a date (with peramaters set by your husband and you) with this person? Simultaneously, cherish and keep up with your marriage and maybe this other person wouldn't pose as much as a threat?

I think the hardest thing for people to understand is that your feelings for someone doesn't compromise the love you have for anyone else. Have you watched the Ted Talk by Leon Feingold on polyamory? He really explains the nature of having feelings for more than one person in a way that's comprehensible.
CelticMermaid
CelticMermaid
Rediris,
My husband has meet him and they get along really well. They have a lot in common and are actually planning to attend a convention together. Seems I have a type and I had no idea!
I will watch the Ted Talk and try and have the conversation. I do want to make sure that my husband knows he is number one in my life. My friend understands that and doesn't want to interfere in my marriage if my husband isn't okay with this. I just never thought I would ever be in this situation and I hope my own insecurities don't ruin everything when and if my husband starts seeing other people.