I have hours, days even when I wallow in self pity. I wrote this last week.
I wake up wanting to die.
Grieving for a future that won’t come.
Grieving for a past that can’t be changed.
All that is left is me. Broken, defective, fucked up, me.
Splintered and fractured I am never really alone.
One voice is buried under a physical expression of pain, anger and fear
The other voice keeps fighting and hoping.
No bets on which one will win. Probably the one most afraid of dying.
If she does win, it means a slow painful death. A shameful humiliating death.
Instead of a fast, no looking back, balls to the wall kind of death.
Life and Death both done the same. Painful and Humiliating. That is no way to live or to die.
I wake up wanting to die.
Grieving for a future that won’t come.
Grieving for a past that can’t be changed.
All that is left is me. Broken, defective, fucked up, me.
Splintered and fractured I am never really alone.
One voice is buried under a physical expression of pain, anger and fear
The other voice keeps fighting and hoping.
No bets on which one will win. Probably the one most afraid of dying.
If she does win, it means a slow painful death. A shameful humiliating death.
Instead of a fast, no looking back, balls to the wall kind of death.
Life and Death both done the same. Painful and Humiliating. That is no way to live or to die.
deleted_user
There is a clear feeling in this one. Easy to understand how you feel about yourself and your living situation. It is sad you feel like this, but sometimes life can make us feel this way. There is always a little bit of hope, even when life feels the most painful and tragic.
Desigol1979
Been there myself.
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