Hi, I've been diagnosed and suffering with Pmdd for Many years. Every month is a adventure in hell. Sometimes I'm a rage monster, sometimes I can't leave my house because of the anxiety sometimes it's all migraines and weight gain and breasts feeling like they are going to just fall off from the constant pain. At my worst, like this past month, I'm downright suicidal from the constant and unyielding depression and feelings of hopelessness. I've had great dr's who just thought I was crazy,because I admitted that I've actually tried to end my life while in the throes of Pmdd, I've had horrible insensitive dr's who just wanted me to take calcium pills and estrogen cream. None of it helped, the one medicine that did help (Xanax) which I would only take at my very worst, no one wants to prescribe because it's so addictive (I only had it for three months, let the script expire because again I really only used it when absolutely necessary, tried to get a refill and got called every kind of junkie by a nasty receptionist, I was already at my rock bottom lowest, begging for help which I rarely ever do, and because Pmdd makes you uber sensitive to rejection, I somehow made it through, again on my own and never went back. I'm now 41 years old and I'm really tired of this psycho merry go round from hell. I refuse to have kids despite my loving husband's words that I won't harm my own children..he's put up with me and my Pmdd for nearly twenty years... Pmdd has made me a stronger person because I shoulder it alone, but I have cut off almost every personal relationship because I can't bear the thought of being taken advantage of in my weakened state.. I want help I need help but I've been burned so much in the past. Does anyone else feel this way? Where do I go? What do I do?