I understand completely what u are going thru! I too look bad at past relationships n see how my symptoms affected so much!! I’m currently looking for relief with this disorder. I find myself lashing out on my kids now cuz I am single I feel horrible but I don’t know how to control it cuz like u said I get so angry it’s crazy! I’m praying for us to find relief and more awareness to this matter!!

Hello. First, I would like to say how sorry I am that you have to go through this at such a young age.... I am 44 going on 45 in April, and I just started a few months ago with severe symptoms. Prior to now, I really had no PMS symptoms. I was extremely lucky and really didn't even have a cramp. I truly understand exactly how you are feeling. I have gotten to the point where I scare myself. I cannot function for a few days and after my episodes I carry so much guilt. I too find things wrong with my relationship and will destroy it easily during this time. I have been in my relationship for over a year now after being single for about eight years.
Anyway, I have tried one ssri and some over the counter stuff. I am now trying effexor just during the last two weeks of the month. I usually have my outbursts around the 1st of the month. So I am hoping that this helps me. We will see....
As far as our relationships, we have to realize that we are good people we just suffer from something that we have no control over. We have to continue to find treatment that works for us.. If the person that you are with cares for you, he will see how you are when you are not going through this and understand how much you are suffering. With my bf, I try my best to communicate exactly how I am feeling. Even after the fact. I try to tell him what I was thinking and that I know that it is crazy. Communication is very important. But at the end of the day, if he chose to leave me because of it, there isn't much I can do it about it. I will just continue to find a way to fix it. People have to understand that we all come with flaws. It doesn't make us bad ppl. If he had issues, I believe that he would expect you to the same. At least now you know and that is half the battle.
And last, when I am going through a tough time what I have been doing the last few months is taking off and doing things that i enjoy alone. Then I am not around him and throwing all my crazy insecurities at him. It has worked to a degree.
Speaking to people who know exactly what you are going through is helpful.. It is too bad this forum isn't a chat group. That would be very helpful. But I am around if you want to post..
Best wishes!!

Hi jaimaco,

I can relate to your tough situation. I am also 26 and was diagnosed with the condition about a year ago, although I know I’ve had it my entire life.

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend since 2014, before I had the PMDD diagnosis. We lived together for much of our relationship, although our professional lives have us in different states currently. I definitely had realized a pattern of us only fighting right before my period, and I truly believed it was all him. In addition to other symptoms and other life stresses that come with your early-mid 20s, I was dealing with ups and downs of a relationship each month. I would go from feeling in love with him to feeling like he was an enemy, ruining my life.

It takes two to argue, and I don’t want to put undue blame on myself, but PMDD definitely played a role in my perception then, and it still does. My boyfriend was understanding about how it affects me, but it’s still hard for both of us to deal with sometimes. The way I see it, everyone has things about them that could make them hard to love – whether it’s PMDD or something else.

At this point in my life, I think it’s important to communicate about the condition to my boyfriend, how it affects me, and what my needs are – whether it’s extra attention or extra space. Those needs change and aren’t always met, but at least being communicative could allow for understanding. Don’t feel bad or guilty about your diagnosis; it seems like you’re trying to find ways to mitigate how it affects you. I find taking care of myself the best I can is one strategy to help lessen the impacts of PMDD.

As far as managing anger, the best advice I have is to focus on gratitude. Try to be aware of how you feel about your relationship when your PMDD symptoms aren’t affecting you, and how you feel when they are – and stay aware of the differences.

All my best!

Hey jaimaco,

I am 26 and I feel the same way as you do.

I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years now and I realised we fight because I have what he calls "bad days" only during my menstrual cycle.

Some months the fights are light, some months I smash things on the floor and become severly depressed, as it occured this month.

It's sad because he doesn't know how to cope with this condition anymore and since I am not diagnosed (acutally I didn't know about PMDD before today) he thinks I am making some scenes...

I think it's important to read more about PMDD and how to cope ourselves with this condition - relationship or not, we will have to live with it.

Eating good, doing exercise (even walking!!) I noticed it works or even being surronded by people (I forced myself to see a friend yesterday and It changed my mood for the night).

After calming yourself a bit, it's important to say to your partner that this is a condition you have and that it's not his fault.

I always said to my partner that I need attention and hugs and compassion in those days.

Hope that will help you too!

Jane

I can totally relate. What’s helped the most is me actively working with my doctor on treatments as well as realizing when my cycle symptoms start. I keep a log on a pocket size calendar. Then when that time comes I try and keep it in mind. My partner does as well. I focus on telling him what I need in those times (extra emotional support, comfort, attention) and he works in being responsive. It’s a big struggle and I wish I had time to type more. I know you were t asking for treatment options, but I just have to say that I’ve heard estrogen is the cause of the problem and that using progesterone cream or patches can help. Just a thought for you to share with your doctor. Best of luck!

I had the same symptoms as you. My antidepressants never worked UNTIL I started getting the depo shot. It was like night and day!!! Here in Texas that’s the number one treatment that works for pmdd. No other BC just depo. Then my cymbalta started to work, and less side effects if you take it at night.

I just turned 23 and was diagnosed a few months ago with PMDD. I was on birth control for about 5 years so it was never diagnosed. I had to stop birth control because I was having high blood pressure. Once stopping the pill, my symptoms came out in full force. Currently I am taking Prozac when the symptoms start but it doesn't feel like it does much.

This diagnosis has taken a huge toll on my relationship with my boyfriend. He tries to be supportive but he's supportive in a way that works for him, not me. I try to communicate how I'm feeling and what I want but sometimes it's just too hard. As unfortunate as it is, it is nice to see that other people are feeling the same way as I am and have the same struggles.

Right now I struggle most with my anger and aggression. I'm hoping to find some techniques to help with this