PMDD Support Community Group
A group specifically addressing Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder; severe emotional and physical problems associated with the menstrual cycle. A place where we can share our feelings during the tough times and different types of treatments. Moodswings welcome!
Hello to all. I have read several posts here tonight. I'm not usually a blogger, poster, or group discussionist, but I am at a point where I need to seek help. I need support and I'm not sure where else to turn. I thought if nothing else I could relieve some stress and get some things off my mind. I have had PMDD for many years now, but have just recently become aware of it. I think my awareness has made it worse for me in that even though I now know what is wrong, I still cannot control it. I cannot prevent the overwhelming feelings and mood swings of anger, depression, bouts of crying...it's different all the time. My family suffers. I spout out hateful things, angry for no reason. I have little to no patience for my 12 year old daughter. Other times, I want to crawl in a ball away from the world crying in hopelessness, even though my life is full people who love and support me. My job suffers, because I cannot focus. I cannot concentrate. I cannot remember ANYTHING i do not write down. I have not been to work in 2 days. I don't want to see people, I don't want to talk to people. The only people I want is my family, who takes the full force of my Jeckyll and Hyde personalities. How fair is that to them? I am so grateful they love me and can accept my problem. I've been to the doctors, I've taken their anitdepressants, their birth control pills, only to suffer from other adverse side effects. Why is there no awareness? Why is there no cure? No hope? I have heard that a hysterectomy is a "cure" for PMDD, but trying to get a Dr to agree to do it is impossible. Have any of you heard this? Done this?? Why do people not understand? Why do they think we're crazy or delusional when we tell them how we feel? I am extrememly fortunate to have the husband I have. He gives me so much support and love when I am in these moods. Moods that are becoming worse and more frequent. Used to be just the week before my period, I'd be off...moody and sensitive. Now it's weeks before, and during. I might...might have a week a month where I actually feel decent. Sometimes, I actually feel sick. My body aches, I'm nauseous, I get chills. I'm sure if you have read this far, you realize I am in a low spot right now. I ramble. Can't keep my thoughts straight, in order. I thought about starting a journal, to keep track of my moods, so that I may understand them later when I am in "working order". But I thought a support group, discussion forum might be better. Get some feedback. I know, after reading what I have already read here, that I am not alone. Many of the posts sound like I could have written them myself. How then, how do we rid ourselves this life debilitating "thing" that no one believes in? Everything that I have read, medically, says antidepressants and birth control...which is what my doctors have tried. They don't work. Trade one ailment for another. Diet and exercise are key, I have also heard. Well, I'm going to try my best to eat better...that will be a miracle in itself. And I'm going to try to exercise. I have absolutely no energy nor desire for any type of exercise, but I do know from past experience that the more you do it, the better you feel. The hardest part is starting in the first place, especially with something like PMDD in the way. I'm also going to try some herbal remedies and vitamins. And this website. And now I have typed a book....random thoughts of a 35 year old PMDD sufferer. If you read it all, you deserve an applause...
i just wanted to say that in reading your post i can so hear your absolute desperation,and i am so glad that you reached out here.....
it pains me to hear how much you are struggling.......and i can certainly relate to how frustrated you are in having this rule your life.
i have felt that way for a long time,and have felt very much alone with it.
but ,just over this past month,after joining this group,i have recieved wonderful support,and understanding and some good ideas about how to cope....i've not been judged here,my pmdd has been validated as something real.....
i have a hard time posting on forums but i'm glad that i joined this group. just knowing i am not alone in struggling with this and that there is somewhere i can go to vent where others understand has been so helpful,and so i encourage you to keep posting and reading.....
please be kind to yourself,ok?
God, I related to your post! SO been there...
Unfortunately, I don't believe there is a 'cure'. I think its like some women have dark hair or blond hair, some women are extra sensitive to hormones and others not.
And it seems to worsen at around age 35 to 40, heading into perimenopause. Becoming more intense and longer duration through out the cycle, not just in the 2 weeks prior to bleeding.
The most healing for me (and I am in no way 'healed') has come in the form of tracking cycles and symptoms in a journal and so eventually 'learning myself', being aware I am being the way I am because it is a particular time in my cycle - so when I start hating on everyone, being intolerant, narky, depressed, fatigued, etc - it has helped with not really believing all the crap my head is coming out with. And I can at least try to look towards another swing in the cycle to a different set of symptoms.
Also strengthening my psyche, meditation, connection with a bigger 'universal consciousness', detachment, distraction - all helps with 'it' not being in control of me. Even tho I still have to go thru the emotional, mental and physical symptoms... I don't need to react to them as strongly.
Then other times it picks me up on a wave and dumps me unceremoniously into a bruised and battered heap and lets me know I'm not in control one little bit! And I start all over again. If and when I can.
Take the pressure off yourself to be 'normal'. You are how you are and need acceptance, love and understanding, from yourself most of all. Acknowledge and nurture your own needs as much as possible.
Make sure you do the things that make you happy in life. This is a time to look after yourself.
My heart goes out to you, I know its so hard and sanity sapping.
Thanks again to everyone who is a part of this group. I'm so grateful to have somewhere to turn.
Lornylu - I totally relate to you also lol. My husband and I have only been married for 6 years, but we have known each other for 17 years. We spent some years apart before we were married....long story. We haven't always gotten along. He didn't always understand...neither did I for that matter. I was like you, I wanted to leave just about every month. We didn't necessarily fight, but we argued and there was tension. When we argue he is mean...with his words. He "hits below the belt" so to speak. We were always arguing about little things that just escalate into bigger things that never should be an issue in the first place. When I found out about the PMDD and really found out what that meant I began to see things differently. I understand now, as far as my marriage goes, that in many cases of my blowups at him and all my built up anger towards him...it was not ALL my fault. I had perfectly good reasons for being pissed, however, my reactions towards him or what happend are completely irrational. Which is what happens in other situations as well, that don't involve him. Since I understand what is happening and I can breakdown the situation logically, I can somewhat explain it to my husband. Keep in mind he is a man. You have to explain it in ways a man would understand. And I'm not saying that to mean men are stupid. I'm just saying we are completely different and understand things in different ways. You have to think like a man lol...if that makes any sense. So, now that he understands what is going on he is just more sensitive. He doesn't take my words to heart when I snap at him. He keeps track of my cycle and knows when to expect an "episode". He will simply hold me till I fall asleep and not say a word. And best of all he forgives me. He really loves me, and I know that. He will do what he needs to to make our marriage work. As will I. I try my best to give back what I get.
Now, as far as the herbal stuff...here we are, again almost a month after my last post. I still feel pretty decent so far. I have been very tired yesterday and today. But I can deal with the fatigue much easier than the moods. Of course the fatigue contributes to the moods lol. It usually takes a good 60 to 90 days to know if a supplement is working well for you, but for me...so far so good. Go to this site... www.joytolive.net/healthylivinginwnc If you have any questions you can email healthylivinginwnc@gmail.com You don't have to sell the products to buy the products but you can save some money on them if you join...which makes the pricing very reasonable. I was buying things from the local health food store at a higher price. I've never been into these types of products or markets before but a good friend of mine is and I decided to try it because nothing else has been working. I take Fulvia, Affinity, and InnerJoy. I must admit, so far it is working. It isn't a cure, it's still there, but it is most definitely an improvement.
I hope this helps ladies. This is what this forum is for. To share our experiences in hopes to help each other with something there is little to no help for. I don't want to offend anyone, but I am a firm believer, and I will be praying for everyone. There is always hope. Crossing my fingers for another halfway decent month :)