About 2 months ago I received a call, while at work, from my 15 year old daughter's cell phone on a school day. I answered it only to hear a man's voice on the other end. Immediately alarm bells go off in my head! He had identified himself as the HS Sheriff and said that my daughter was safe and not in trouble but could I please come to the school right away, without any further explanation. I immediately texted my husband (her stepfather) to alert him of the situation. I made the 20 minute drive there, my mind wandering and heart racing, "what could it be about?" I thought to myself. I finally arrived, signed in and was escorted down the long busy hallways of the high school to the in-school Sheriff's office, again without any explanation. We enter the office and there is my daughter sobbing in tears. She wouldn't even look at me. He went on to very delicately but directly explain that she had called a suicide hotline and given her name and so it was reported that her grandfather, my father-in-law, had been touching her and my younger daughter of 13, for years and she couldn't stay silent anymore. I sat in shock listening but not really responding but I remember I embraced her and said I loved her and apologized that she felt she had to keep that a secret all these years. I never once DIDN'T believe her, not even for a moment. She didn't want to come straight home so she stayed in school where her best friend and boyfriend would support her (apparently they both knew). Now I had to tell my husband that the one man he has always looked up to for 35 years touched our daughters. I had to drive home and I distinctly remember the song Purple Rain playing on the radio as I drove home in tears. I canneverlistento that song the same again. My husband came home. I had to explain it to him. He was devastated and we cried together. Then we had to tell his mother. My husband's parents live 1 mile away so we told her to come over alone. While she was upset, somehow she didn't have quite the reaction I thought she would. At the time it didn't register with me because I was still in shock but I remember her saying "I always tried to be in the room". Why would she say that?
Fast forward now to today. My 82-year old father-in-law has been arrested and charged with not 2 counts of criminal sexual conduct and assault and battery. My oldest daughter just 2 weeks ago attempted suicide and we had to have her hospitalized for therapy and is now on Zoloft and working toward recovery. She has revealed that it wasn't the first she attempted suicide and she has also been cutting and throwing up her food occasionally and taking pills to numb the pain to forget. I am hopeful that she will stay alive and thrive as the beautiful young woman she is. Just this week we decided we have to sell our beautiful home (our first home together 3 years ago) because she has PTSD related triggers here and bad memories that override the good. But it is just a house and what's a house without a complete family in it? Our lives are totally upside down now.
On top of all that my husband, an only child, who was very close to his parents, is now grieving the loss of his father. His mother has decided to stay with him and so that is yet another betrayal because I also feel she may have turned a blind eye over the years. Even knowing all this, my husband is fighting the fact that he has to sever a relationship with her too or lose me in the process because I just cannot fathom even speaking with anyone that would be with a person that would harm children. How could he still want a relationship with her?
So I am looking at not only psychologically damaged hearts and minds but uprooting everything and if my husband wants to keep his relationship with his mother, I don't think I can stay with him. She is extremely needy and SO attached to him (he is a mama's boy for sure). Any advice on that part??
Just send a few prayers our way, and any other advice that hasn't already been shared. Her counselor has read it to us 3 times now, including once when I replied with what I WANT to say to my daughter upon hearing it--so I could get that off my chest to a safe person. Now I have to think about what to actually say to her that would be helpful, and listen to her read it herself without getting...
Hello. I'm new here, and have a question for other parents who have gone through this. The short version of my story is that my teen daughter was raped by another teen 5 years ago. She didn't tell us until almost a year later, after she had a breakdown and was hospitalized. She didn't want us to try to pursue legal action against her rapist, and realistically, at that point it probably would have...