I'll begin with my sadness about the boys, two step sons, and my discovery that they were egregiously abused by a man. I found out when the FBI came to me, at the boys request that I get the call first after their mom. The man committed terrible crimes, having them pose for pictures, sometimes together, and evidently these pictures were beyond revolting - and were sexual. They were 18 & 20 when this came out. I had to take one to meet with the FBI & go into a private room to identify photos. Both were asked to testify, both refused. He still got imprisonment - thankfully. The crimes were serious - and he was a part of some huge ring of abusers.

Then I found out that their stepdad was arrested for having committed crimes of the same nature. I do not know if he abused them as well.

Now, the older boy, has been permitted to move in with us, again. He has confessed, by accident, that at 13, he committed some offense - he won't tell me what. It came out once when I was mad at him and he insisted I was lording this over him - once he realized I had no idea what he was referring to - he would not say a word. Then - he got into this mock wrestling match with his little sister, my biological daughter, age 10. I was telling them to stop - and planned to speak with her privately about the way to play with boys - and to talk with him privately. He told his sister to massage his feet. While she did, he told her, "Squeeze it like you know you want it."

I was sick, she is only 10. He keeps snuggling and play wrestling with her and getting his legs around her. I do not know what to do. I distracted her & took her outside. Later when we were sure to be alone I discussed appropriate play.

I confronted him and heard the same thing I recently heard, as if he didn't remember I don't know. I was blasted that I just wasn't letting go of what he'd done at 13. I looked at him and said I was angry about what he'd said to his sister - just recently. I pressed further, again - refused to confess. I did remind him that at 13, he came for a week in the summer, but couldn't stay longer. His mom & he told me he'd gotten in trouble at school and been told to endure anger management counseling. He informed me, "We both know that isn't what it was." My stomach nearly threw up. I had never suspected a thing.

Now my sis-in-law has mentioned something about a sex crime at 13, because I was concerned about her daughter, who I was babysitting for a few days a week, when she suddenly pulled the babies out of my care. I called her, the niece, and she told me that she did pull them out of my care, primarily because of him. She said he sexually abused a child when he was younger She thinks the child was quite young. She doesn't know any more. She thought I already knew so her original excuse was just that - but I'd urged them several times to tell me what was going on because something didn't add up. She originally insisted on paying me a regular daycare rate, even though I insisted I would keep her kids for whatever she could afford because I really needed a little income. Then she pulled them very suddenly & told me I was too expensive and she knew I just had too many things going on in my life with my own children. I was so confused, until I confronted her yesterday and learned the truth.

I've confronted my husband - he says he doesn't know about it - and he also says I should drop it - it's old news. I'm sick. I have 2 minor kids, 2 full time day care kids. I am sick - and I'm afraid to leave my kids home for even a minute.

My husband has, time and time again, let the boys move in. One is violent at times, and has physically hurt, or nearly hurt, all 3 of my children, and me. My oldest was injured the most seriously 12 years ago. He has beaten his two wives and his girlfriends. One girlfriend even confessed he'd hit his daughter. I've asked my husband to only permit visits from him ONLY when he is home AND I am here IF the kids are home. My oldest is grown & living on his own now, but the younger two are still here. He kept this promise for only a few weeks, and then let him come freely again. Eventually, he even moved back in.

I could tell many stories of my husband permitting other I felt very untrusting of, move in, stay over, and things. Despite my urging him to not "help" people out so freely while we have children in the home, he will never say no, unless I need something. He'll say no to me for MANY things, even one time when I was having car trouble, and another when I needed him to take me to surgery. I had to drive myself and get my sis-in-law to come get me.

Now - I am considering leaving. I never wanted to. My husband is quiet, passive, and doesn't harm me. He isn't supportive, but he lets me pretty much conduct my affairs and stays out of it. Meaning if I decide to take the kids somewhere in the evening and text him I won't be home to cook dinner - he's probably just going to respond, "ok, have fun". I am very faithful, very conservative, very committed, but my faith came late, after my marriage, which I now realize wasn't smart for my children, and really for me.

But - I bought this house before we married. I've considering telling him to leave & returning to work. But then they would know where we are & drop in on the kids whenever they wanted to. So - desperately - I'm considering just leaving. I'll bring the kids for a visit - but I won't tell him where we are. He won't like it - but he's not likely to fight it. His first wife sent the kids when she got tired of dealing with them - and when she took them - he never once sought rights, visitation or anything else. Another thing I learned, after marriage. Even when he learned they had been abused, he just blamed on their mother who never defended them - but he hardly even seemed concerned. In fact, he seemed irritated at my concern.

WHAT DO I DO? I feel so bad - I don't want to abandon our lives, but my kids are starting to catch on that I won't leave them here and they are tired of it. My oldest is very old enough to stay home. But - I don't trust staying here & making them leave. And if I try to work it out - I'm pretty certain it will be like most other promise he's made to us - he's probably kept 2 out of every 50 promises he's ever made; and those are usually promises like joining us for dinner if we want to go out or going to his family members house for a gathering. Promises to continue coming to church, to permit violent children to come here when I'm not here with kids, to disallow people who abuse alcohol, drugs, and more, and can't keep a job, from moving in....those promises are continually and reliable always broken. Sorry this is long - this has been bottled up for well over a decade and I am scared. I am under so much stress that the other night - sitting at the table doing nothing at all - I had this terrible pain in a spot on my leg. It kept up for a few minutes - until finally I noticed a faint vein bulging. It appears I busted a blood vessel - it's still there - very visible. I have bitten my tongue on any non-urgent issue, and bottled this within till I feel like I'm about to pop...literally.