Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1) Support Group

Feeding your infant and ensuring they are getting enough nutrition is one of the most important aspects of parenting during that first year. This community is dedicated to those who are nurturing a baby, whether breastfed or formula-fed.

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courtR 09/24/2012

Hi my grandmother, and grandmother in law have been driving me insane!!! My grandmother went to California which is a great thing now, but my husbands grandmother has been up my butt just wanting to baby sit him. The thing is I have no clue how to tell her I don't want her to baby sit. My reasons are because I don't believe she is all there mentally like when I brought him to a family birthday party she literally ripped him from my arms, I was hanging on for dear life to him and she preyed him from my grip :-( should I be upset bout this? Like u wouldn't do that to a mama bear or dog else you have a death wish so y do it to me? And she was swatting my hands away when I was trying to put his jacket on, ever since I've had my son she s been pissing me off, saying I have to vaccinate him or else he can't go to school and oh I took my kids off the pacifier at 7weeks old. What really got me was oh what do I know I only raised 6 kids. This is my time to raise a kid not hers, what do I say?

deleted_user 09/26/2012

I kind of have a similar issue with my grandmother. She is constantly wanting to tell me how to raise my son. I do believe she means well by it but it really is annoying and almost rude at times. I've started saying, "Well that was how you did it, and this is how I'm doing it, times have changed and my way is perfectly fine." You don't have to be mean but do be firm in saying that you are not willing to change to her ways because you are doing a great job the way you are doing it. YOU are the parent NOT HER! Just remember that and don't let her get you down! Good luck!!!

deleted_user 09/29/2012

Well, this is a toughy. I mean who wants to offend grandma or worse, hurt her feelings? First, be straight up: it's okay to tell her you don't need her babysitting services but you will happy to come by for lunch onece or twice a month to visit. Plan it for an hour before naptime so you can say "we need to be on our way for nap."
As for her endless advice: you might want to pick your battles. Is it worth it to get into arguements or can you listen and smile and say "I'll keep that in mind" ???? I know it can be irritating, especially when it is about the pacifier or bottle or breasfeeding. If all else fails, ask your husband to speak to her.

deleted_user 10/03/2012

I would be REALLY upset by this too.
Agree with Court - you need to be firm (not mean) and tell her straight up.
Beating around the bush or ignoring comments may only build up your tension making you resentful and won't solve the problem.
Acknowledge that while you appreciate her advice you are doing (such and such) and its your decision as a parent

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