I feel the same way. I only get to spend a little time with DS during the week, this is why on the weekend I soak up as much time with him as I can. I don't like giving away any time on the weekend with others because I want to be with Trever.

I work as does my husband but I feel the same way. We too struggled with IF for almost 5 years and there are days I feel so ripped off. I spent so much on the stupid loan to have my son that I HAVE to work to pay it. Kind of ironic. I feel like our daycare provider gets the best part of his days. But I can tell you now that my son is getting older I get more and more of his days, and I get the mornings, which I think are the best part. Keep spending time with her, just the two of you. You are her mother, and she knows that. She listened to you for 9 mos while she was in you.

I'm with you on this as well. Husband and I both work but he gets the play time in the evening with her - about an hour more than me. I go to work later in the morning so get home later.. he picks her up from daycare. It works well but I get less time with her. I do get to work from home 2 days a week which allows for me to have some time but he still gets more.

I also spent over 6 years with IF - we turned to adoption - I planned on reducing my hours after but everything just cost too much for the adoption and then this economy is horrible... prices going up up up and income not meeting it...

Hang in there... I know it is hard. I soak up every minute I get... poor little baby gets so many kisses from me in a tiny amount of time... when she learns to walk she'll probably run from me!

First, Congrats on your miracle baby. We have a lot in common. I too struggled with infertility (3 years) before having my miracle baby. I am a working mommy and my DH is a stay at home dad. I initially struggled with the same things as you. Everyone thinks it is so easy to just reverse the traditional roles and everything should go just like it does for those families with working dads and stay at home moms.

But in reality it doesn't. Somehow the relationship seems to be an incomplete trading of roles. The dads definition of stay at home dad is taking care of the kids ( I guess it goes along with most men with stay at home moms don't appreciate how much their wives actually do), but many of the things traditionally done by a stay at home mom like the cooking, laundry, cleaning and grocery shopping are left for the working mommy. That will quickly burn you out and not leave time to enjoy your little angel.

The way we worked through this was by having open communication and remembering we were a team with the same goals. I made sure that my DH knew how much I appreciated how great he was doing with our son. I told him that it was a big relief that I didnt have to worry about who was taking care of him while I was at work, and how great his bond with him was. But, I was honest that I was hurting because I was missing out and I wanted that relationship too. I asked him if he could help me figure out how to have more quality time. He decided to start taking care of making dinner.

So when I got home from work instead of cooking dinner, it is my turn for quality time. Initially, I took our son in another room away from eyesight of daddy and played with him while my DH cooked dinner. Now my son looks forward to me coming home and when I get home, it is me he wants to be with. (There was a learning curve for my DH on the cooking, but now he is better than me at it. Granted some of the initial dinners weren't the best but I made sure he knew how much I really appreciated them anyway).

We would leave the cleanup until I put our son to bed. Then I would come down and do the dishes. Letting go of the need to have things neat right away also helped because it bought me more quality time after dinner and before bed. It worked this way for a little while. Until one day the most amazing thing happened. I came downstairs, and they were done. My DH told me that he didn't like that the dishes were interfering with our together alone time. So, now he does the dishes while I put the baby to bed. Then we have couple time.

It has been a journey finding what works for our family, as it is with every family. But, it has been great. I appreciate my husband and love him more today then when we started this journey, and I have a fabulous relationship with my son.

Hang in there. It does get better.

I liked Lovinmotherhood's reply. Have a sit down meeting and jot down notes/ideas if you think you might forget something. Positive reinforcement and asking for help calmly, instead of emotionally after you've reached a breaking point in frustration should hopefully help. I used to not say things until I couldn't take it anymore and I'd have a big fit, but now I stay calm and logical (it took some work) and it seems to work better. Good luck to you!