Out of the Fog Community Group

For those who are done with their affair and want to make things better. Please be respectful of others in your posts. Rants, tirades, replies that are off topic, etc. will be deleted.

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Relationships & Sexuality
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Sex post D-Day

mats63
mats63
I don't quite know how to post this qusetion, but did anyone else out there experienced difficulties in resuming sex with their BS? Did memories of the OM\OW enter into your mind? Sex with my BH was almost non-existent before my A. A couple of times this week he has initiated sex (he was drunk both times), and I can't seem to desire him anymore. I hate feeling this way..
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds funny, but I mean it: have you tried getting drunk too? Concentrate on what feels good. I guess -- let your body do the work ...
put your mind on mute.
mats63
mats63
No, but I guess tequila shots and magaritas are worth a try...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yorick gave good advice; put your mind on mute and let your body lead.

You will be giving love to your BH, acting in a loving way. Do it as an act of love toward your BH. The rest of your thoughts will follow.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is scary and the first encounter probably won't be your ultimate fantasy. But once you re-establish the rhytmn (no pun intended) the rest will come (damn! No pun intended again!).

Been there. Done that. Got a tee-shirt.

Good luck & good times -- York
deleted_user
deleted_user
Megs put it better ...
deleted_user
deleted_user
yep i remember those days thank God they are far from me...I can't get enough of him....Our sex life is off the charts now. I had that problem thinking about her? And then one day thought to myself she is nothing in our marriage this is my H and I'm his wife my body belongs to him and his belongs to me I also decided I was getting mine! Selfish I know, but well I think its okay as long as its with him. Maybe one day and I think I'm coming to that place now that I want to start getting a little more intimate in bed. hey there is an Infidelity Sex Room support room people talk about this all of the time that and other things LOL HUGS! She doesn't belong in your bed so when that thought comes in focus on what you are doing and get yours! : ) Seriously!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hear ya. Having the same problem here. I actually told him that we could both get drunk thinking that it would ease our tensions etc... but unfortunately he took it the wrong way & thought I was saying I had to get drunk to have sex with him. I can't say anything right these days!
deleted_user
deleted_user
My H and I have always had a great sex life, even during the affair. Gets better every year. My hope is that he doesn't think of her when he is with me. I can't really concentrate on that though because I don't want her there.

My advice is keep trying to make that connection; don't give up.