I have been terrified to post but I really need some advice or support. I am suffering from severe depression and self hatred right now. I was having these problems prior to seeing another man but not to this extent.
I no longer see the man I had a relationship with at all, and realize I was caught up in a world that was not real. It has been almost three years since this happened and I have not been able to forgive myself,. My depression and self hatred has spiraled out of control and I feel like I am punishing myself because I feel I don't deserve anything good because of what I did. My husband doesn't know about any of this and If I tell him I will lose him for sure. I did try to tell him and he knew I was talking to this other man. I can't go on like this much more. I can't even take care of myself right now and I have a son who loves my husband very much. Did anyone not tell their spouse and still find away to rebuild their life and not hate themselves. Should I tell him? I feel like I deserve whatever he does to me. He will leave I know that.