Hi, my name is Cortney. For as long as I can remember I have been deathly afraid of needles getting shots especially getting blood work. I have never had blood work done with out 7 to 10 nurses holding me down and me screaming bloody murder and I black out I go into such an extreme panic that I start to curse and yell and say mean and hateful things to the people around me and become very violent but dont remember ever doing or saying those things and Im so not that person and feel horrible when people tell me what I have done and said. Im have to go to every nurse and apologize. I do understand that it's a ridiculous fear to other people and everyone thinks I'm so childish and I just need to "get over it" or "grow up" but its so not that simple. I can honestly say I would rather die from what ever is wrong with me then go to the Dr. and get blood work and an IV. I do know and understand my health is important that is just "a little prick" (NO ITS NOT!) to some people, and completely know that with out blood work and tests its a very real reality that I could die but, the problem is I dont care I am so scared! My current problem is I'm sick, I'm in so much pain in my stomach and swollen and over the last fee months the pain has spread and caused more problems. I have been to DR.'s but of course never done blood work but now its to the point I have done the ultrasounds the other tests but have no answers. The Dr.'s are to the point where they wont/cant help me with out blood work there's no other options. I ended up needing to go to the ER last night because the pain got to intense for me to handle. And the ER Dr. wouldn't do any tests with out blood work, ended up being discharged against medical advice with no answers and still in pain. My fiancé of course thinks is absolutely stupid and angers him because he says there is a way to find out what is wrong with me and I wont do it the Dr.'s have him and my family so scared for my life and they are so mad at me for not getting it done and just "sucking it up". Of course I'm scared for my health and I feel bad that everyone is so scared of loosing me and they think I dont care, I do but my fear of needles exceeds my fear of death. I dont know what to do or how to deal with this fear or how to over come it. Has any one been able to over come it or found any other way to deal with it? And please things other then the usual breath, dont look, focus on something else, try talking and making a conversation, hypnosis, family support, I have tried them all none work. Thankyou for your input and advice.