I left my narcessist spouse at the end of September with nothing but $300 and a car.  I lived in my car for a week and nearly went to the hospital from dehydration because the heat was so bad.  I then went to a women's shelter and lived until Dec 1.  In that time, I was able to somehow regain my balance and start living a somewhat normal life.  I still have many negative days.  Being outside of that situation has made me look back and see what really was going on.  4 years ago, the narcessist and I were getting divorced.  He left and went to another city to stay with his "friend" and I started looking for a place to live.  I also started going out with a womens group for dinner and meeting friends.  I also began working a second job.  When the narcessist came back, he saw how well I was doing and immediately wanted to reconcile.  Keep in mind, his teenage child I raised from 9 yrs old was also living in the house.  At that time, I was unable to find affordable housing because the college kids had started back to school and there was nothing available.  Had I had a few more weeks on my own, Im convinced I wouldnt have allowed him to talk me into the reconcilation.  He drug me to another city away from what I knew.  Immediately put a wedge between the son and I and away from everything I knew.  One red flag there.  I immediately get a job that provides good insurance as the narcessist had a chronic illness.  He's eventually cured.  He could never quite get his businesses off the ground and eventually told me if I was a better wife he'd be more successful.  Another red flag.  As once his mother and I talked and were close, he created a riff between us, (isolation from family and friends) another red flag.  I eventually have to have surgury.  I stay out of work a little longer d/t complications.  He tells me the business is taking off and I don't have to return to work immediately.  This was his way of cutting me from becoming stable in the same city he was in.  He knew my friends at work had influence over me.  Red flag.

We had nothing, lived way above our means..he needed to maintain that personna. Red flag.  I'm the only one who knew we were living hand to mouth.  His collegues, family and maybe even friends thought we had this great life.  He always made negative remarks to me.  Made me feel less than less. Red flag.  One day, I couldnt take it anymore. I was either going to end my life or start living the best I could. Packed my suitcase, wrote a note, and left.  I remember parts of the drive, others moments I do not.  I believe I had a nervous breakdown. 

I of course, take 50% of the blame.  I allowed myself to be sucked back in.  Unfortunately, he continues to manipulate the situation as narcessist do.  He continues to be in denial.  After all, it's never the narcessist, it's everyone else's fault.  They need this mentality to justify their behavior.  Now he says he's found God.  Needs to help himself because he believes he's Co dependant and couldnt keep his commitments because other people couldn't keep theirs.  In the end, he still blames others.  Typical narcessist. 

So my advice to anyone dealing with a narcessist.....  Unless you become completely numb to the abuse and find a way to deal with

it, there is no cure for them.  They leave bodies behind to get what they want.  I hope noone ever goes thru what I went thru.  You can't win with a narcissist, and I pray for anyone who has one in their lives.  If your interested, read my journals...it starts from Day 1.

Broken_Bridges