I'm not new to this site, I used it regularly some years ago when I was involved with a sociopathic man, and I am happy to say that three years on - I have never looked back from ridding my life of this individual. I have rebuilt my life completely, found myself a new, normal (sane) man, and things couldn't be better. 

However ....

After spending three years in a toxic relationship, I have become a very keen observer of people's behaviour, in general, and like anyone who has ever spent any time in a relationship with an anti-social, whether narcissist or sociopath, you become very good at reading the signs of another *possibility* entering your sphere (There's a lot of them about, after all). I have been fortunate in that I have managed to duck out of the way of those individuals who seemed to trigger those bad feelings of old! But I do have something of a story to tell about one who did manage to slip through the safety net. I thought I might share it with you, and perhaps gain some validation on what my intuition has been screaming at me.

Around two years ago, I stumbled upon a distant family friend, who had been betrayed, and cast by the wayside by an unfaithful lover,  I had encountered her several times before, on the fringes of occasional family gatherings. I noticed that she would sit just outside the social circle, observing the comings and goings from a cool distance. She wasn't especially popular, being deemed as 'not everyone's cup of tea' by the majority. The general consensus was that she was something of a snob, which many found intimidating and unnecessary. I never found her intimidating, I have to say, but I did notice how she never quite seemed to fit in, always keeping herself slightly aloof from the crowd. 

Naturally, when her world fell apart, I felt some empathy for her misery, and reached out the hand of friendship in a gesture of emotional support. I had been in a similar situation myself, not so long before, and I felt that validation of her feelings, and a shoulder to cry on were the best forms of comfort I could offer her, given the circumstances. I hardly knew her really, and I didn't want to feel like I was imposing on her suffering. She accepted my friendship, rather too eagerly I fear (in hindsight), and the fun and games begun.  Over the course of our brief two year interaction, I had the (dis)pleasure of meeting the many faces of a deranged narcissist (maybe even sociopath, I can't make up my mind), She transgressed through a journey of self destruction, from emotional neurotic drunk, to overbearing control freak, to repeated displays of unnecessary competitiveness, to downright egotistical crazy making lies about personal achievements, education, travel and even romantic relationships. 

She is the mother of four grown up sons, all of whom have absolutely zero respect for her, all of them living at home and never giving her a penny towards the house keeping, one of them even moved his girlfriend in too, another came home drunk one night and got into an altercation with her which resulted in him smashing up the living area, TV, stereo, everything. She was forced to stay at a friends house (she said) as she was terrified. She totally enables the behaviour however, making excuses for him because she says he is suffering with depression. 

She gradually started to worm her way into other areas of my life, and the lives of those closest to me. She creepily (and very quickly) befriended my friends, she didn't seem to have any of her own, which I found strangely odd. She started inviting herself along to planned days out, and then completely taking over the reigns. When she wasn't invited to an event, she would cover social media with unhappy faces as a means of drawing attention to her supposed exclusion from our group. (?) It was becoming annoying, manipulative nonsense. By the time she started emailing my boyfriend (without my knowledge), to ask him to come round and repair her phone or her TV, I'd just about had enough of her antics!!

She is grandiose, self-important, attention seeking, and hungry for admiration, I didn't notice, at first, her tendency to constantly interrupt when I was talking about myself, and to rarely ask follow-up questions or inquire about how I was feeling, except on a purely superficial level. This signaled to my intuition that something was amiss with her. She wasn't beneath telling lies either, if she felt they would serve her agenda, however, little slip ups here and there would reveal inconsistencies in her stories if you listened closely enough. There have been so many instances where her details and her dates have not added up, where she has claimed to have done things, and traveled to places that are obviously a total figment of her imagination. She could never elaborate further on her dubious claims if questions were asked, but instead would swiftly change the subject.  

Always hungry for any kind of an audience, she doesn't take kindly to others stealing her limelight away. Her need to be at the forefront of any important occasion is bordering on desperate, cringe-worthy delusional nonsense. I was unfortunate enough to have witnessed an episode of this behaviour first hand, quite recently, at a family wedding, where she attempted to upstage the mother of the bride with her fussing and bossing everyone around during the ceremony. It was embarrassing to watch her shamelessly try to turn the attention of the congregation in her own direction, without regard for the feelings of the couple who were actually getting married, or the bride's mother especially. It was like a kind of subliminal point scoring game. The fact that she had been chosen to play an important role in the festivities went straight to her head, so much so that others felt the need to comment on her audacity and sense of gloating superiority. 

Thankfully I have now taken steps to remove this individual from my life as quickly as possible, by cutting her off completely. It appears she has spent her life flitting from crisis to crisis, energized by histrionics and chaos. It's been easy to detach myself .. although I see the odd message on facebook that is meant for me .. or the excessive amounts of comments she writes on my families posts. I couldn't care less who she talks to, and nothing she does will make me react. She has kind of latched onto my brothers wife now, and is trying to worm her way back into the circle there! 

Any comments would be welcome - thank you for listening to my situation.