Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I'm grateful only for one reason that this divorce is taking so long. ALL the truth IS coming out. This guy has been a real firecracker, lying about and to me, stealing me blind, then promising me the world's fastest divorce so he can marry another man's wife, who has never EVEN STARTED the process of divorce. You know how we talk about consequences, some call karma? I was driving my route this morning, thinking how if my car gets in an accident, someone should sue the darn state, him and his mommy (every time I braked, grind grind and I think a broken rotor ...I'm leaving for junkyard before it hits 100!, right after this) for forcing a dangerous car on the road ... well, anyway, I realized how he has portrayed himself as VICTIM so long. I don't tend to that; I had no use for shelters or being a "battered woman", even after the gun was pulled. Kill me or put it away.
So I am thinking how I tried and our daughters tried to warn him, but no, he knows everything and has it all plotted out. So maybe he IS going to be VICTIM. Isn't that what "they" say? Be careful what you wish for ... be careful what you believe, I guess. Personally, I think he will maybe die with his mother, still doinking on another man's wife, who only used her own words as he did, as bait. I know I have often wondered, who if anyone in that disaster was "victim". I think me and the girls.
But now to the point ... I got basically yelled at by a customer who came to my house 2nd time this week (yipes); I guess I forgot her paper, then stuffed the "freebie" one that isn't full edition in her box. I actually cried pretty hard when she left. I guess you can see why I've stayed away form nursing! The crying was because I know I was preoccupied; I get distracted and I hate those free papers and can't wait til they are out of my car every week. Usually I catch myself, but I didn't.
I filed an extension for my taxes and I have NEVER had to do that. Usually, they are done in February and I have usually done them 2 - 3 ways to see which works the best (for me, of course LOL). I'm a scatter-brain, so it's always been very important for me to be organized, at least in certain areas (I am one of those people who can have piles and know what is where, though. I just found (again) some census thing they sent me months ago that they WANT BACK. It seems that I am progressing, maybe because I am working off "angry" energy plus worried that whatever is coming, I probably won't get much advance notice (so much for being the "truly played"). God willing, both girls will be out of here by end of August and I don't expect to be treated "nice". Although I don't know what all laws are, I know they never seem to apply to him fast enough. SO, besides re-organizing prioritizing and making lists, getting rid of junk and getting sleep, good food etc (yeah, I'm not really there, I will admit), what are some tips you all might have for getting rid of cobwebs and worries, regrouping and not getting stuck/behind? I think I remember other people also having this trouble, at work too, so I am sure some tips could be helpful to many ... thanks!!
PS don't worry ... I will let you know ... I AM about halfway seriously thinking of demonstrating; I have already written an e-mail downstate after getting blown off after several calls. This is BULL and I know it ... laws are not supposed to let someone destroy your life just 'cause they are mad and I am angry about the gambling and that there is no recourse. Plus plenty else that is SUPPOSEDLY State regulated and "overseen". So I have plenty to do, since I am still working out my other project - and that is where I need to concentrate, but I have to get this cotton wool GONE.
I also realized that the hospital is PROBABLY going to try to get me to co-sign to my daughter's bill; thankfully my brain is catching this stuff, albeit slowly, and I am not going to do that. I hope it doesn't create problems, but I THINK they would be better on her (for the moment) than me ... assuming I don't get "forced down". Sorry to ramble about ... that's all for now, I guess. Stay cool! Except I suppose you Canadians are already! Enjoy, if you are!
So I am thinking how I tried and our daughters tried to warn him, but no, he knows everything and has it all plotted out. So maybe he IS going to be VICTIM. Isn't that what "they" say? Be careful what you wish for ... be careful what you believe, I guess. Personally, I think he will maybe die with his mother, still doinking on another man's wife, who only used her own words as he did, as bait. I know I have often wondered, who if anyone in that disaster was "victim". I think me and the girls.
But now to the point ... I got basically yelled at by a customer who came to my house 2nd time this week (yipes); I guess I forgot her paper, then stuffed the "freebie" one that isn't full edition in her box. I actually cried pretty hard when she left. I guess you can see why I've stayed away form nursing! The crying was because I know I was preoccupied; I get distracted and I hate those free papers and can't wait til they are out of my car every week. Usually I catch myself, but I didn't.
I filed an extension for my taxes and I have NEVER had to do that. Usually, they are done in February and I have usually done them 2 - 3 ways to see which works the best (for me, of course LOL). I'm a scatter-brain, so it's always been very important for me to be organized, at least in certain areas (I am one of those people who can have piles and know what is where, though. I just found (again) some census thing they sent me months ago that they WANT BACK. It seems that I am progressing, maybe because I am working off "angry" energy plus worried that whatever is coming, I probably won't get much advance notice (so much for being the "truly played"). God willing, both girls will be out of here by end of August and I don't expect to be treated "nice". Although I don't know what all laws are, I know they never seem to apply to him fast enough. SO, besides re-organizing prioritizing and making lists, getting rid of junk and getting sleep, good food etc (yeah, I'm not really there, I will admit), what are some tips you all might have for getting rid of cobwebs and worries, regrouping and not getting stuck/behind? I think I remember other people also having this trouble, at work too, so I am sure some tips could be helpful to many ... thanks!!
PS don't worry ... I will let you know ... I AM about halfway seriously thinking of demonstrating; I have already written an e-mail downstate after getting blown off after several calls. This is BULL and I know it ... laws are not supposed to let someone destroy your life just 'cause they are mad and I am angry about the gambling and that there is no recourse. Plus plenty else that is SUPPOSEDLY State regulated and "overseen". So I have plenty to do, since I am still working out my other project - and that is where I need to concentrate, but I have to get this cotton wool GONE.
I also realized that the hospital is PROBABLY going to try to get me to co-sign to my daughter's bill; thankfully my brain is catching this stuff, albeit slowly, and I am not going to do that. I hope it doesn't create problems, but I THINK they would be better on her (for the moment) than me ... assuming I don't get "forced down". Sorry to ramble about ... that's all for now, I guess. Stay cool! Except I suppose you Canadians are already! Enjoy, if you are!
Anyway I want to assure you that someday you will realize how strong your really are and in so doing see yourself in a brand new light. I look back at everything I once went through and wonder how I made it through...but it was one day at a time. The fact is through it all I learned I was not a victim but a very strong and capable survivor. I learned that I was a person in my own right and not a puppet of someone else. (yes, I had to learn that)
I read some of your adventures (junk yards in the burning heat) and what I see is an amazing, creative woman who is keeping her car going and facing life's chllenges head on. Yes, he is the real victim. The one who will suffer most in the end. He has lost his family and the woman who stood by him during his health problems and would still be there if he had not "found a new love". A day will come when he is nothing but a sick, lonely old man. Mommy won't live forever and his new love will leave him . While you my dear friend will have built a new life from the ground up.
As for co-signing...don't do it. She has a father who needs to man up here. If they harrass you, send them after Steve. I am sure Mommy dearest will help HIM out.
As we have talked about my current circumstances are very slow and extremely different from where you are at but I hope I can offer some valid advice I want to throw out a couple things. One is if you can, meditation can be amazing even if you can only manage 10-20 minutes, there are so many different ways to do it and I think the most important thing is that you are focusing on your breaths. I find sleep is better if I give my body that relaxation during the day and I don't require as much. As for not getting behind you are balancing a lot so without being in your shoes it's hard to say sometimes it can help to make a super tiny to do list, not the 25 things to get done list just the very top most important to do list, the less important things bug us but often they really can wait. You ask too about getting rid of worries and regrouping, I assume this group is one outlet for you. Whenever you can take time for yourself however little or infrequent for taking a walk, having coffee with a friend or whatever helps or relaxes you though it takes time away I think it can give back in the long run. I think we tend to be more efficient, less forgetful when our minds are clearer and our minds are definitely clearer when we are less stressed.
Hope you find some relief but sounds like you are kicking booty! Good luck with everything.