Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
Gonna make this short for the moment ... a million things to do. Bank account is overdrawn $24, nothing in savings and insurance needs paid - last week. I have to cash in cans I picked up. Dear God, my legs ached last night.
Things have changed and in so many ways over the last months, but has been rough. Attacked by a tick and infected, slept in car a few nights due to daughter's PTSD or similar and loss of a lot; including the death of a sweet little one year old cat and the loss of her mother when his relatives refused to give her back.
So things are sort of rough still ... more details later ... but am alive, both girls out of there ... so when I have to look at the costs and losses, I have to keep in mind that was one of the primary objectives ... and despite people thinking maybe I should just get out and let them figure it out, I think I did the right thing. Specially as this whole divorce could have been concluded in a matter of months, not four years and something ...
but hey, the N (ASPD?) made a snide comment just the other day on a FB post I made ... so if I am not "ancient history" to him - as he and his will be to me in some future day, sooner the better :-) - I definitely don't think the daughters will be - as I see from the postings on one daughter's FB ... the attempts by "relatives" to continue trying to "snow" her and act all loving and concerned ... even to turn the death of a cherished pet into some sort of tragic accident, rather than the direct result of greedy and callous N actions. The other daughter is "persona non grata" (she no longer "exists") because she refused to issue a public apologies to N father and his relatives ... or go with "the program" any longer.
Alive, safe, stressed to the max ... but aware of the blatant injustices ... and determined to go on. My best to all and hope to talk with y'all more later! <3
Things have changed and in so many ways over the last months, but has been rough. Attacked by a tick and infected, slept in car a few nights due to daughter's PTSD or similar and loss of a lot; including the death of a sweet little one year old cat and the loss of her mother when his relatives refused to give her back.
So things are sort of rough still ... more details later ... but am alive, both girls out of there ... so when I have to look at the costs and losses, I have to keep in mind that was one of the primary objectives ... and despite people thinking maybe I should just get out and let them figure it out, I think I did the right thing. Specially as this whole divorce could have been concluded in a matter of months, not four years and something ...
but hey, the N (ASPD?) made a snide comment just the other day on a FB post I made ... so if I am not "ancient history" to him - as he and his will be to me in some future day, sooner the better :-) - I definitely don't think the daughters will be - as I see from the postings on one daughter's FB ... the attempts by "relatives" to continue trying to "snow" her and act all loving and concerned ... even to turn the death of a cherished pet into some sort of tragic accident, rather than the direct result of greedy and callous N actions. The other daughter is "persona non grata" (she no longer "exists") because she refused to issue a public apologies to N father and his relatives ... or go with "the program" any longer.
Alive, safe, stressed to the max ... but aware of the blatant injustices ... and determined to go on. My best to all and hope to talk with y'all more later! <3
So many changes happened in my life, I moved and quitted my job, and went back to school.It was hard to make that decision but I did, I needed changes so that I can start over.
Take care my dear and may God continue to give you courage and possibilities to bounce back. Take care.
And yes, I am (often) exhausted, but usually a day of rest helps a lot. I don't know whether it helps or not that I think so much ... but it is so hard to find help, that I am often doing "whatever I have to" with only myself for company ... so my mind is always thinking, probably mending, too.
But at times, I can FEEL and recognize the (emotional/psychological) shock that threatens to shut down some of my mental faculties. I know that is a (strong) warning sign, because I know it means I will likely be less effective (and not as if I am "up to snuff" after a more than four year siege) BUT it also is a signal of overwhelm, sort of like "hitting the wall" when physically exercising. All I can say is "damn the authorities" for the moment ...
because a lot of what I read here (not talking about anyone in particular) reflects what I am/have been experiencing. As many of you may know, I like to do research too, and I stick with information that is credible ... and cross check, etc where I can. Just that these people ARE doing PHYSICAL harm; you can't separate the emotional/mental and pretend it isn't part of (and interacting with and as part of) the physical individual ... BUT because it can be difficult to tell the lies from the truth, professionals too often are silent (worst of the lot, I'd say) or ignore the damage being done, or even tell people who are being harmed a bunch of malarkey, including "get on with your life".
Anyway, I AM glad that I know I am suffering "burnout" (stress exhaustion) as well as physical fatigue. It's well-recognized, for example (and not looked down on) that physicians often suffer from "burnout". Nobody financially connected (dependent on the physician being in good practice) would dream of telling them to just "carry on" ... and other professionals responsible for serious and life altering decisions affecting others ...
It will be nice when people (especially "professionals") have become more knowledgeable; the analogy about the tick is appropriate ... very.