I am so happy to have found this support group. I have been reading the discussions on the previous board but unable to join. Just reading the discussions was such a big help.

I have been NC for 5 months after a 10 year relationship with my exN. I went back one more time after learning about Narcissism. He had a near death experience and convinced me that he learned what life and love is all about and realized what's important. I let myself get sucked back in AGAIN. How could I not take a chance that my 10 year investment might pay off afterall? I also was not ready to accept he was a narcissist and my entire relationship was a fraud. As usual, as soon as he had me under his thumb he went right back to the same behavior. Didn't take long either. I have blocked him from everything but he still to this day sends me text messages from other phones. Even with everything I have learned I don't get it. And if he doesn't contact me for a few days I start to feel the withdrawal symptoms. But I'm much much better. I still have a long road ahead. I am starting to function again. My thoughts are not as obsessive. Dare I say I am making progress? I didn't think I ever would. I'm coming out of the dark slowly. I am by nature a worry wart and a dweller and I am progressing even in spite of myself. I hope that gives someone at the beginning of the NC process hope. I thought I would die of this broken heart, soul murder, addiction, sickness. But I will survive and I can already tell I will be better than ever. Not tomorrow, but someday. Once you're in it this long you know that even when the bad bad days come and send you back to bed or to your anxiety meds, you will get through it. You really see the ups and downs and notice the ups are longer and there is light coming. Just keep going.
I have gotten so much strength from this board and I hope I will be able to help others in the same way. I'm glad we're on this journey together. I'm so happy to be here!