I ran across this site, based in California. I am fairly certain, however it would be applicable to most states, etc. I really like the reality based suggestions to "avoid family Court" until a criminal case has been built, as many of us would expect (or have) that going in and telling the truth is "enough". I still feel shocked at times at how I was labeled, for making a good faith report, after pretty blatant statements by children and what appeared to be corroborating evidence. Without EVER meeting or interviewing me, or even contacting my physician, I was labeled by CPS as "mentally ill" and a "drug abuser" and he was told he should pursue custody of the children to protect them from me. Thinking back, I remember when I went into the CPS worker's office and was treated disgracefully, told to "go take care of my mental illness" and not given one word to allay my anxieties over my children. I still think it's actually cruelty, to have treated anyone like that, but for her to call me mentally ill and then take actions which could only escalate fears?? Oh, well, I can also remember going into Court in those early days and seeing her, simpering amongst a group of male sheriff's deputies ... she's gotten married since then, so probably not simpering about in groups of males, but my anger over how I was treated and discounted, having done nothing wrong ... still rankles a bit. I just came across a study done for the National Institutes of Justice/DOJ that states that CPS workers and Court personnel are woefully ignorant about women and allegations. The ABA has also put out a fact sheet that states men are more likely, statistically, to make false allegations and that overall, the numbers of such are quite small.

At any rate, I know that not all Ns are abusive, but some are and I know firsthand what a wringer I've been through, due to his apparent knowledge of how to sweet talk the authorities and present himself as a choir-boy saddled with a drug-crazed and crazy woman ... yes, the choir-boy who pulled his shotgun out of the closet, loaded it and threatened me ... and tried to physically push me out of the house (his yelling heard by the dispatcher ... but between the incident and final report, I somehow became "the offender" as I recently learned). I remember the stories, too, about how Jeffrey Dahmer was able to sweet talk the police and they returned his victim to him .... and apparently, many of the young men who disappeared as a result of John Wayne Gacy were written off by police as "runaways", although available evidence (had it ever been looked at, timely) would have decried that notion.

But here's the site:
http://justicewomen.com/help_family_law_2.html

I added the info about a "weak" case particularly because it notes that the police, etc maybe weren't doing their job. I've been incensed since learning that a report I made, in which ex made physical contact and threatened to "keep going until I don't have a right to walk the dirt" wasn't reported AT ALL as I reported it. Unfortunately, statute of limitations passed ... as I was being given the run around and different answers by different people ... plus, the Prosecuting Attorney's office told me I needed to provide them a copy of my protective order, which they "didn't have" despite their office being a mere 50 feet from the Clerk's office, where all case files are stored. I also read a recent report indicating a lot of police departments are brushing aside sexual assault/violence reports; New Orleans is under Federal investigation for that matter.

"Avoiding Family Court Pitfalls - When the Criminal Case Starts Out Weak

In most cases when a domestic violence criminal case is weak, it's weak only because either the police did an incomplete job, or the victim didn't tell the police everything, or the district attorney didn't properly take action on the case. So the key in these situation is for the victim and her advocate to take the weak criminal case and make it strong. Then you're back to the best case scenario.

If you stop and think about it, it's very difficult for a batterer to carry out on-going abuse without leaving a lot of evidence. Another thing to consider is that police, even when responding well, are generally not going to carry an investigation much beyond the point at which they feel they've gotten enough evidence to make the arrest and to support the case. What this means is that if the case is later found to be insufficient for any reason, there's almost certain to be a whole lot more evidence to be found just by going back through the case.

By going over the police report with the victim, by talking with the victim at length, and by engaging her in the search, you can almost always come up with additional evidence and witnesses that were overlooked on the first go around. (Since we've covered this process of evaluating and strengthening the criminal case in other texts, we don't go into it here. See If Your Client Has Already Made a Police Report)

The important thing we want to convey here is that just because a criminal case hasn't been filed by the district attorney, it's not at all time to give up on the criminal case. Most of the time, a victim and an advocate need only add additional evidence to the case, and then press the district attorney to reconsider filing criminal charges. In other words, do everything possible to make the criminal case strong, and move yourself back into the best case scenario."