Yep!

I'd say got for it! and file a contempt.....His ass**le ways are affecting you so detrimentally...I truly hope that you can find some way to redress it....I'm in a different country different laws rules etc..so apols I'm not sure whats best to advise...

I've noticed that cars that have problems are a recurring issue..if I win the lotto I'm 100% buying you and your daughter brand new snazzy cars! :)

Ps. As the latin saying goes...Illegitimi non carborundum....which is Latin for 'don't let the bastards grind you down. Bastard even :)

Maybe you could explain the situation with your boss and rearrange your schedule. It seems like you need to get into see that lawyer pronto.

I hope the day got better dadda11o! Money troubles always makes everything worse.... . It does seem like you need to file a contempt...sending hugs, prayers and happy thoughts your way!

Thank you all ... LOL I would be more interested in going to the "Ask a Lawyer" but there is a place you can go in to speak with one free here in this county; I have done that twice ... he is a corporate lawyer, though and doesn't know anything about family law ... in fact, the two times I have done so in past, I have ended up listening to him talk about his life and general thoughts on it ... than getting any useful guidance!! There are some sites on-line, avvo and Justanswer (paid), plus research ... I look at articles in the ABA journal and other sites that are similar as well as read some appellate cases. Just enough stuff to make me "dangerous" LOL ... and truly, not impressed with where my own attorney left this ... it should never have been left, so many issues, dangling in the wind. It is what it is, though.

I feel a little better, though. I rather know the worst and figure out what to do from there than be wondering ... my daughter called me the other day and was scared, because a man came driving up our driveway, taking pictures and wasn't saying anything sensible when she confronted him and then, told him to leave (and I mentioned before, we truly DO live in the middle of nowhere ... and the sheriff's department has not historically been very responsive to problems).

I think the thing that is making me angriest right now (and maybe that is good) is that I know he is well able to pay the mortgage ... and what it is ... it is due to his continued stress that my daughter took the school loans and put the money on a lease ... she is worried the house will get locked up, nowhere to live and lose all her stuff ... if she had the loan money available, she could get her car fixed ... but she can't get "regular" credit to do so ... again, thanks to his clown games. And, not having paid the mortgage for TWO months ... he ostensibly was going to rent a U-haul to move her large items the other week ... but when they got to the U Haul place, he said he "couldn't afford it" and has made ABSOLUTELY NO move to help her with this situation, either. According to the decree, we ARE responsible for her post-secondary costs ... and I do believe that would include TRANSPORTATION .... since HE chose to put us here in the boondocks, in particular ... it probably isn't worthy of fighting for money in Court but the FACT might come in handy, should we end up there, due to the situation ....

Vonnie, that is funny! I have been collecting thrown away lottery tix when I get cans ... I have read that sometimes, people throw away winners ... I figure the State owes me ... LOL ... although I think the odds are against me .... must be why I haven't gotten around to checking them ....

But I feel a bit better 'cause I can concentrate ... that is the worst ... I mean, this guy is seriously trying to destroy me WITHOUT getting himself in trouble ... and the powers that be DON'T care. I guess it is now making a bit more sense to me why my therapist sometimes tells me that it is amazing, with "what I've been through" (doesn't seem like much, stacked next to some people's troubles) that I can sit and "have a lucid conversation". But earlier, I couldn't concentrate AT ALL ... just a jangle of nerves .... I KNOW my reasoning makes sense, and it seems inhumane that I am forced to almost sit here on what seems like "house arrest" and watch my life (or daughters') be further damaged ... or leave all and go to a shelter ... totally unnecessary, too ... but maybe I will (I hope) be able to find some help publicizing my can collecting campaign as the situation grows more desperate.

Oh, and the attorney I saw previously (from the DV referral) was sensible; she agreed that getting another realtor or putting the house into receivership to get it sold (less favorable) would be good. So I think I am on the right track ... I guess I am wondering if he is trying to pull the scam (I read of) of letting the house go into foreclosure, then having mommy or someone "get it back" for him ... I guess I will check into what I can find out on that ... as I trust him not a bit ... and what he is doing demonstrates either a totally unbalanced mind (totally focused on revenge/punishment to exclusion of consequences to him, our daughters) or fraud.

So sorry, Dada, that this crazymaking continues. I have learned that there are many people (apparently mostly men from what I personally see) who just sit back and let the house go into foreclosure and walk away with nothing (other than free living space during the process) just to hurt the ex. Still, the process takes months, and even years. If you are only in the second month of no payment . . . you should have considerable time left. I hope you can plan and find a new place to live . . . hopefully closer to civilization, You have been through so much. As I said before, I worry about you with the winter coming. If concern for you or prayers could fix it . . .you would be in luxury by now. Please take care of yourself. Keep venting. We care.

Maybe a judge can place some kind of emergency hold on the house default if your H has the ability to pay th mortgage. I don't know whether that is possible.

Yes, Que Pasa, that is what my ex did. He forced us to face foreclosure and he only agreed to sell the house (short) a day before the foreclosure auction date. We lost all our equity and there was no need for that to happen. We had a lot. He also made me hire a kids' attorney to protect their things as he would not allow them to be moved out of the house and threatened to stay until he was evicted after the auction, carried out by the sherriffs. All this for no real reason or gain. They're psycho!

FYI, though technically the foreclosure process only takes 3-4 months, ours ended up taking about 7 months. Depending on the backlog and what the bank wants to do, you may not have to vacate for a while. Stay on top of the dates, though, and get your things out before auction. Some people have been surprised when the new owner comes to the door. But maybe if they are an investor (most buyers are these days) who wants a tenant, you might be able to rent it from them and stay.

I like the replies, especially the one about luxury by now ... haha .... my daughter came back from a day with her father and his mother ... his mother told her (this is my youngest), "I can't understand why your mother isn't out by now .... she isn't even paying rent!" LOL I do believe she believes the stuff she spews from her mouth ... somehow, I'm a "bad person" ... and hurting her little boy. Maybe if she had taught him to respect authority ....

Seriously, though, thanks for the info. Between everything else, I am going to continue trying .... the sign out front (what was left of it) blew away in the storms last week. I took pix ... this guy isn't even trying. At least the bank said they won't throw us out ... youngest has a place to go, if we can get her car running. Oldest has signed a lease for a place a few hours away .... though it won't be for several months. I will be satisfied if they are away from controlling relatives ... even from me. I know I am not the cheery person I'd like to be :-) hopefully that will come back!

You're doing your best under the circumstances...as for his mother saying to your daughter.. "I can't understand why your mother isn't out by now .... she isn't even paying rent!" How dare she? Talking in a derogatory way to your girl..about you..her mother...to my mind is a form of abuse..I would say not maybe if she had taught him to respect authority..so much as maybe if she had taught him respect full stop..

To me theres nothing worse than parents backing up their grown up kids bad behaviours...and lack of decency and responsibility...Talk about the apple not falling far from the tree...

As for undermining you to your children..thats seriously disgusting...I'd be tempted to try to get a counsellor to warn her off that destructive hate making behaviour..also her wishing for you to be homeless sooner than later...thats amoral...reminds me of my ex who also wanted me to lose the family home so badly...not giving a damn that included his son being homeless...nasty abusive uncaring people have no morals or shame...

Hoping you can detach more..hang on in there..and claim your right to a roof over your head for as long as in humanly possible..

If at all possible..I would claim my right to be cheerful..even if just to spite them..

Spiteful people are their own worst enemies in the end...Hang on in there...Hugs...

Love that idea . . . Claim the right to be cheerful!!!! Not always easy but so gratifying when you actually are able to do it. Hang in there Dadda.