I guess it is a good thing I have a beater car, now!! LOL

I am not sure this is the best idea!?? I have been tempted to start my facebook page: What he really does with his NFP $$ and has yet to pay me a cent. and start putting up the bills I pay for the kids and the fact that he hasn't paid. or that he does not have the money for braces but wants to take the kids to Hawaii (NFP $$) if does not claim an income.

or that he is running a campagn for kids and in the secrecy of his own home he steps on his son for not eating dinner.

But in the end the kids need US!! So, think twice before doing something that will get you thrown in jail.

I don't THINK it will as long as I am careful ... but I had another thought ... because have been trying to think of Federal regulations ... we were FORCED to use the hospital for the IV treatment because of Medicare payment rules ... there was a REQUIREMENT that the IV be administered under physician SUPERVISION. So where was this "supervision" while goo goo eyes was making hot for him? I was already told by his podiatrist (who is also technically a MANDATED reporter -yep, just like for child abuse - that she was coming down to her office unnecessarily, with paperwork, when he was there).

I was hoping that the e-mail I recently sent to a reporter (I found one in my in-box from last year, asking how the situation is) might have gotten a response. Everyone so far has been looking at it from the standpoint of "consensual adults" having sex. But if you are a health care business, that is a prohibition that is part of the Practice Act, which is part of law. It gives me a little hope, especially with all the health care reform controversy, because as I said, we were FORCED to use the facility, although there is no reason I couldn't handle a PICC line and monitoring site and infusion. That, along with the Oklahoma case that IS very similar in the general respects, gives me the hope if I can get the right attention, I might get some help. I just want out of here and not homeless, I would like a semblance of a life and I want to get my daughter into college. If you have ever been poor or on the way to it, you know how much time it eats up with paperwork, finding records, getting the go, here, no , here, etc. There is not enough time to deal with the stuff that I would be doing if I weren't caught by this crunch. The way the facility handled it is shameful, he actually ended up with an unnecessary amputation as a result (they made money off him, there, too) and they are still making money on him.

I am going to try to be very careful, believe me, to stay on the right side of law. But we do have the Constitutional right to free speech and I don't want to lose it from fear ... also, this could happen to other people. I know it isn't common. Affair would be one thing. But he is trashing our lives and this "nurse" giving tacit approval - she obviously doesn't want him bad enough to divorce her own husband. That is another reason I know it's mental on both their parts. If you pray, I appreciate any prayers. If you don't, moral support is fine too. I never wanted to get the woman in trouble, just for it to stop (because it is prohibited) and hopefully, for her to get treatment so she WOULDN'T sabotage her career ... this is what I get for caring and doing it legally ....

and trusting the authorities!

If her husband knows, and doesn't care. that is one issue. Your husband, and his mother probably know she is married, as is your husband... this is a second issue.

I understand the pressure of no money and wanting out.. I know how hard it is to wait for the N to file taxes so I can pay a retainer fee for a lawyer. and the pressure in finding a job, and going to school and still ending up being a full time parent to 3 kids under 12......

I will pray.. but please be careful.

Oh, and mine never wanted the other bad enough for a divorce. It was me who finally had enough of it.....her husband will need to be the one to make the move.

I already sat down and TALKED with her husband in the grocery store. Mine got her a cell phone so HER husband couldn't know what was going on either!! They WERE trying to get HIM arrested for domestic violence, supposedly ... and get me arrested by thinking I would violate the bogus protective order she filed and got ... (and I just LOVED getting yelled at by another judge ... who thought she was my co-worker!!). There is something wrong with her. I had posted the letter, but then I remembered it has names all over, so I gotta take them out. She also wrote some sick thing to my daughter, talking all about how Jesus can't love her more or less, no matter what she (the nurse) does. She tells my daughter to "please be patient" with her father. Her father called her (our daughter) a C-NT. That woman is SO far out of line it isn't funny and it is darn well not acceptable for the state to be putting ITS "seal of approval on this pathological mess!!"

I have been through worse (I think); this is just HARD. And I want to be back to where I can help other people ... I might have already been there but for this disaster. BUT if I don't give up, maybe it will help people more ways than one and I can get back to making some spare change ... I will keep my chin up and stiff upper lip and try to be wise and Livelifenow: I really thank you for caring enough to remind me of what is important and to be careful ... you are a friend - thanks!!

I am sitting here telling you, I feel your pain, but is all of this worth your sanity. Let them have each other. Let them eventually be M I S E R A B L E together, because you know it will happen. Sit back and trust God. Vengence is mine saith the Lord. What goes around comes around. The best attack is working toward being happy and not giving a crap about him.

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are thinking what does she have that you don't. NOTHING - she is just NEW, and doesn't KNOW him yet. You know how charming he can be and put on the airs, but it is not lasting. The REAL him eventually comes shining through.

God Bless You. I will keep you in my prayers.

Losingmind, actually, I am NOT jealous. For some reason, the last several months, I was acting way different with most of his games (I think I did some growing/changing). But the way you said that (and thank you, VERY much!) reminded me when all this first came out and he filed divorce (23? months ago). He came bounding into the house one day to let me know this would be one of the quickest divorces in history, because he had met his genuine, true, mature love. He assured me I couldn't hold a candle to her. Damn straight - I don't need or desire to "compete" with women who go around spreading their legs for whatever comes along. My self esteem in that area is quite okay!

I'm mainly madder than heck because of all the financial and emotional and even physical illness this has caused for me and my daughters. And it's like the state is saying some nurse's sexual fantasies take precedence over the much more fundamental needs of two teenage girls??

Oh, she does have something I don't have; actually two things ... she has a very nice (estimate 60K) annual paycheck AND a son that would be worth about 10 more years of dependent benefits, if his plans work out ... and I am sorry to say this about anyone; it sickens me, but he lived off our daughters. He divorced me because I wouldn't kowtow after I started therapy; children are much easier to manipulate than grown women. At least directly, to their face. I'm not jealous of her paycheck; I would prefer not to be left destitute, considering all that's gone on ... but I may get no choice in that either for a while.

One more thing ... I know what you are saying ... I don't want vengeance. Just my kids were being told that hey, it's okay for health care people to put the make on. Do I want them in that frame of mind if they are presented with a psycho? So I have spoken up LOUD AND CLEAR citing law and all that stuff. God I do not understand that well. I know he comes through as do some people - with a word, encouragement, help. Just that I can't help thinking that sometimes, SOME (not all) of this is consequences. Like you ever get mad about something someone is doing to you and then all of a sudden you remember something that you'd nearly forgotten, where you did something that hurt someone, whether intentional or not? I'm not saying that, just that sometimes I think it.

And you are right, it is not worth my sanity/peace of mind (which I don't often feel at the moment). I know also, don't envy those who seem to be profiting from doing wrong ... It is sort of odd, but when he was getting this going but could still have backed out, I happened to read Proverbs 6 to him because he was talking about his good friend (who was cheating on HIS wife). I know that was more than coincidence. Then later, I read that the man God is already displeased with ... is the one who falls into the trap of a woman like that. As I learn more of the truth, I understand that is very accurate. Maybe I get to be one of those people who keeps/strengthens my faith despite adversity? Just weird; I used to think his faith was stronger than mine.

Dadda,

You keep mentioning the government in your struggles. Just a question to claify .. . . Who/what agency are you referring to? Just a quess, but isn't the state licensing board or a specific professional society for nurses the only agency who could help you? I know that would be the case with a teacher, unless you could prove that a criminal law had been broken (such as having sex with a minor). I don't think sleeping with a willing adult patient would be considered a criminal case unless the patent was mentally handicapped. I could be wrong. I know it is very easy to file a complaint against a teacher with the licensing board. Having them follow up is not as easy, but it does occur. I am sure you have much more knowlege of these issues than any of us. I wish you luck. If you have followed up in every area, maybe it is time to let it go and focus on YOU. Karma does come around, and will do so in its own time, with or without your personal encouragement. Don't let this agenda sap your energy or sanity. Try to focus forward before all this does destroy you. Courage. Hugs.