Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I met with the community help agency; for "people like me" who don't qualify for "need based" programs, it is going to be mostly a mentoring relationship. Helping me keep my head on straight, thinking of other options and having an empathetic ear that is not involved as I work toward goals (getting my car finished up, work/income and housing). There is however a program that will help me rebuild my decimated savings a bit. Between state and federal matches, it is something like $6 for every dollar (up to a limit) I put in special savings. The money can be used for small business, buying or rehabbing a house and also, education. I have to read the info and will give details so if any of you want to check into it.
The "bad news" was meeting with the hospital. But I am surprisingly calm. Just tired from days of trying to work on and get things done (plus, it has been hotter than blazes here!!) and get info. My daughter's hospital bill is like $16,000 and does not include doctors, etc. Even if I were to be thinking of bankruptcy, it is HER bill because legally she is an adult. But I have been getting sketchy info on fund raising and meeting with the woman at the hospital, there is no "breathing down our necks" for now.
On a seemingly unrelated note, I read an article about a bus monitor who was yelled at and the video was posted on youtube. Apparently, within the space of days, a fund was set up and over $500,000 was collected. So I know if I can figure out HOW to navigate through this, it doesn't have to be life destroying. So far I have info on some small local agencies that can help. How much I am not sure yet. But somehow, I feel like this is meant (like by nebulous evil) to tear me down; it's not. Just one more thing to do. Eventually, it will be like, who do you ask to get things done? "The busy person"
If any of you knows anything about fund raising or any brainstorms, I'd appreciate a heads up. I suppose my daughter COULD file bankruptcy, but there should have been equity in this house for this sort of thing. Her father spent the money that was supposed to be for their needs where it should have been invested, so to speak, for future. I will post on what I am working on and some possibilities I have been mulling over a bit later.
So I have to go to work for now, but have been reading some posts and answered a couple. I also read the other day but in one of those moods where the "sound of my own voice" so to speak was "getting to me". I hope that doesn't happen to anyone else, it is a sucky feeling but I am laughing at myself for the moment. Hugs!
The "bad news" was meeting with the hospital. But I am surprisingly calm. Just tired from days of trying to work on and get things done (plus, it has been hotter than blazes here!!) and get info. My daughter's hospital bill is like $16,000 and does not include doctors, etc. Even if I were to be thinking of bankruptcy, it is HER bill because legally she is an adult. But I have been getting sketchy info on fund raising and meeting with the woman at the hospital, there is no "breathing down our necks" for now.
On a seemingly unrelated note, I read an article about a bus monitor who was yelled at and the video was posted on youtube. Apparently, within the space of days, a fund was set up and over $500,000 was collected. So I know if I can figure out HOW to navigate through this, it doesn't have to be life destroying. So far I have info on some small local agencies that can help. How much I am not sure yet. But somehow, I feel like this is meant (like by nebulous evil) to tear me down; it's not. Just one more thing to do. Eventually, it will be like, who do you ask to get things done? "The busy person"
If any of you knows anything about fund raising or any brainstorms, I'd appreciate a heads up. I suppose my daughter COULD file bankruptcy, but there should have been equity in this house for this sort of thing. Her father spent the money that was supposed to be for their needs where it should have been invested, so to speak, for future. I will post on what I am working on and some possibilities I have been mulling over a bit later.
So I have to go to work for now, but have been reading some posts and answered a couple. I also read the other day but in one of those moods where the "sound of my own voice" so to speak was "getting to me". I hope that doesn't happen to anyone else, it is a sucky feeling but I am laughing at myself for the moment. Hugs!
Hospital bills are so scary. I have my own right now. Could his mother help? She's helping him.
There is a community day coming up end of July where I can have a garage sale in town. So I am preparing for that; also making up flyers and cards for it. As well continuing to work on site/shop - everything seems to take longer than it seems it should but it is keeping me busy and out of trouble, making me less stir crazy and I sleep pretty well!
I have already gotten info regarding starting a business and apparently, the need to go through IRS first in order to set up something along the lines of charitable fund. I have spoken to the bank about setting up an account for funds that would be dedicated to paying down the bill. I am wading through material that discusses the pros and cons of various set-ups. And trying to evaluate the new info against what I already know.
Happynow, are you getting any help with yours? I have in past had luck getting discounted rates if not insured or if payment made within a specified period of time. There is apparently an organization that is affiliated with the hospital that may provide some help. Have you been able to access any sort of help? I would be glad to share any helpful info that I have used in past and any I am coming up with.
All I know is that even with insurance (small business) my youngest got stitches. We were paying $600/mo for the insurance and still ended up paying close to $1000 for the 4 stitches.
After losing this insurance and getting medicaid my boy broke a bone. I was scared to death on how much this was going to cost, as private insurance didn't cover anything really. THERE WAS NO FEE! It was absolutely all covered by the insurance. Now I am starting to look for work and scared that I am going to lose the medicaid for the kids. Yes, there are limited DRs who will take it. But it wasn't 2 weeks salary to pay for the bill either(3 is you count monthly payments~). I see why people stay 'in the system!'
I'm not "under the bus" yet and have hope but it takes so long to get things straight. At first, insurance company was really giving me the runaround with the dates of service that they had wrong, etc. Now, that I have called my husband's employer who sends them a very large check every month for thousands of employees' health insurance, I seem to be getting alot more action.
Thank you for the support. I will certainly wave a flag if I get in trouble with this but the whole thing is stressful.
Hope your daughter is okay.
Oh, and I think oldandwiser has a good point.
And one last thing, I email a place that has 24 hour prayer for 30 days and it's free or else you can send a donation if you have the funds. It's the Unity Church in Missouri and it's called Silent Unity. It's non-denominational.
You can call them too.
When times have looked pretty dark, I have emailed or called them and I swear it helps.
I do know a lot of resources but so many of them take time and have so much red tape, if even they help in the long run. I start to wonder where everyone's taxes and donations actually go?
And yes, prayer helps and I have been getting "saved" at the last moment in many cases, but I swear, I don't know how much my nervous system can take. I will say LOL, but not feeling it at the moment!
The main thing I don't get is this: if a person is mentally retarded/developmentally disabled, they often must have someone to oversee their money, etc. And the same thing with certain mental illnesses. I have all kinds of evidence that he is a problem gambler, but no luck getting him locked down to prevent more destruction??!!! This is insane and I tried calling Gambler's Anonymous earlier (which is how I found out about the long distance), but they apparently don't have people available to talk.