I am glad you are okay. Sorry for the recent drama and all the silly games he and his family are playing. Wouldn't it be nice if you could wave a magic wand and make him disappear?

Glad you're back. You really were missed! :)

Thanks, Adairis. I'm glad to hear you are moving forward, too. Ha ha, if I had a magic wand I would have turned him into a "real man" or clipped his apron strings and made all the bad memories go away!! Sigh. I sometimes wish they'd make books and movies with more realistic endings ... remember reading a novel and the main character and narrator died (murdered) - halfway through the book. I broke down and cried, cause it seemed so much more "true to life" ... the one (life) too many people got.

Truly, I am angry. And getting triggered. I've been looking up info on the DCFS worker who "investigated" the report I made back in 1998 and adjudged me - without EVER interviewing me or getting background facts, except from him, when he had me holed up as a "homicidal pastor slayer". I merely reported what my daughter said, and other factual things that were inconclusive but would have needed to be checked. In my state, Indiana, EVERYONE is "technically" a mandated reporter, if child abuse or neglect is suspected. I was a nurse as well as my daughter's mother, so I made "incident reports" that were turned in daily to the State. I also later made reports, including directly to DCFS/CPS as a DV/SA advocate. Other than the report I made regarding what my daughter said, etc, I have NEVER been questioned, as far as integrity, about making a report. And I would NEVER make a false report, because I've heard the stories of what happens to child abusers, etc in jail, etc. In fact, I was SO traumatized by what was going on I was actually starting to question whether I was "hallucinating" reality ... I was thinking that my report HAD maybe gotten him killed or he'd killed the kids and himself ... and I couldn't handle what I had caused. In the weeks just before, I'd had a gun pulled on me, major fighting, he'd been sent to a motel by the police one night, he'd tried to push me out of the house another night, had filled out divorce papers, and I had just gone through getting set up, having the kids snatched and wondering if they were going to kill me, since they took the phones out of the house. Then sent to the hospital because I was "going to kill the pastor". Tell you, if I was GOING to, I would have or they would have had evidence of an attempt. Yeah, I was really going to take on three guys against me ... and the cops believed that?

Just that when I got out of the hospital, I didn't know WHAT was going on, so I went to this woman's office. She's apparently right around my age. I'm worried sick about whether my daughters are safe, etc. She was a cold, nasty b*tch. She wouldn't tell me, "We didn't find any evidence of abuse" or anything to set my mind at ease. Just kept telling me, coldly, that I needed to "go take care of your mental illness". Plus, on the paperwork, she said I abused drugs and recommended ex get custody of the children ... there is NO WAY she got any legitimate info ... I want this woman (not that I think SHE will get anything out of it) to KNOW that this "protective saint" gambled away the children's support money, that HE neglected their medical and dental care ... I was the LAST one, before we divorced and the NEXT ONE, 4 years later, when I learned they were getting NO checkups, cleanings, etc ... I was the one driving 40 miles to the school, raising heck because my daughter was doing poorly and nobody was doing a damn thing for her ... that HE put our daughter through a micro-psychotic episode during one of HIS tantrums, when he smashed her brand new cell phone; that we have all been exposed to a great deal of unnecessary abuse, mayhem and so on, because of a completely inadequate, incomplete and unprofessional "investigation". And they can use their "vocab" all that they want .... unsubstantiated "allegations" DO NOT MEAN that no abuse occurred. It is NOT a synonym for FALSE report or allegation. And mandated reporters DO NOT make allegations, from their end. They fulfill their legal duty in making a report.

And I will inform them, though I was more "injured" than "ill", the way that woman handled the situation was callous and flagrantly designed to set someone off, if they were suffering from a genuine mental illness. I know, it will never change anything. But again, I have FACTS on my side ... time has passed and she HAS BEEN PROVEN WRONG. Her little 5 minutes of time and callous disregard for gathering, assessing and evaluating information and evidence using critical thinking skills ... what a joke. But what priceless pain and baggage she heaped onto my daughters (me as well). I want to thank her, and the agency, for my 19 year old's destroyed credit record ... courtesy of her lunatic father's antics. I think I will also provide them a copy of Donal Black's report on the effects of pathological gambling on spouses and children.

Indiana is crazy ... the Attorney General was raising heck about an appeal for a 12 year old who was shunted into adult Court for murder without time for his attorney(s) to prepare, or for the boy to understand the procedures and import of his pleadings ... so the Attorney General wants to hold children to the standards of adults, while their office refuses to do a darn thing about Mrs. Professional Nurse, who has taken classes to give her a formal idea or her responsibilities and the standards of conduct expected ... it is all lunacy ... but between gambling without safeguards, lunatic DCFS workers and no holds on nurse orgies, I sort of think that my daughters and I have gotten one hell of a lot of pain and price while everyone else is having a grand old time ... plus knowing, now, those malicious hospitalizations ... violations of civil rights. And he FINALLY gets slapped with probation ... he and nursie filed a false and retaliatory restraining order against me ... alleging my reporting of her and my being at my husband's employer (she showed up after me) was "stalking". I still can't find the law that is supposed to bar civil and criminal liability for a good faith report ... and you think anyone in Indiana will assist? I requested a hearing, she didn't show up twice; I wanted to ask the judge about jurisdiction and ended up getting yelled at by him. HE thought we were co-workers fighting over my husband. So ex kept threatening me with that, 30 days in jail and $1000 fine FIRST TIME (violation of PO), he'd say. And I know him .... he would have pressed for it. I don't know where the karma bus is .... but in a way, I guess I don't want to be around for it ... stupid me, I cried when I had to get the PO; I didn't want to report the nurse, why couldn't she just be sane? Why can't people do their jobs, correctly and professionally?

And just in case you thought the rant was "over", how about some collusion somewhere in the sheriff's department? Back in 2003, they delayed serving my original PO request, sending it back to my County, claimed they couldn't "find the residence". So I had to draw a nice map on the cover sheet to assist the fine law enforcement professionals, who had BEEN to the residence many times, according to my call log synopsis. BUT, the additional time allowed his attorney to file a contempt cite against me, which meant we had an open matter on another (prior) case, superseding my request, which meant it got dismissed out of hand ... and the push back on the hearing date is what ACTUALLY put me into civil contempt ... I didn't understand ANY of this back then ... just that I was probably going to go to jail ... too bad.

Anyway, I am seeing a pattern of something ... and it is not "coincidence". I have a "bad habit" of over-analyzing ... but it comes in handy at times ... got ex a $7000 lump sum pay off years ago and $250 a month extra when I was staring at his w-2 one day, realizing (how, I don't know) that he was being underpaid. Wish I could find something more pleasant to fill my mind. But I am going to put all this CRAP where it belongs, with the originating individuals and agencies. At least I'll have that closure and get rid of it ... finally.

Dawn,

How wonderful that it is now official record that he has been violating the protective order. Way to go girl. Your persistance paid off in that issue . .. let's hope it does in other areas as well. Good to have you back, Jenny