Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I am having a hard time not reacting when I see the P/N/S whatever he is or all of the above. All I want to do is knock his teeth out. He acts as though nothing has happened and that we are still friends and that we had a normal relationship and it just ended. I have never gotten to tell him that I know all of the crazy things he did to me and I know what he is now. How do I control myself and anger when I run into him? I want to act like it doesn't bother me, but it does.
Hitbottom
It's hard. I'm having a similar problem. I think in some respects, the anger is normal. We've just had to subdue it for so long. I think part of healing is accepting that we are angry about what happened, and in my case, stayed married for years despite the issues because of my kids. It would be great to not care, really let go, but I'm not there yet. Mine acts like we're friends too and that I should come back since the split, and also says he can't remember all the reasons I told him that I left. More insults... I have anger for that, too, and have a faster reaction to the triggers now that I live separately. I'm trying really hard to take a normal look at things and give myself credit for how far I've come.
zenagirl10
That's really all you can do. Once you are away for awhile, you will realize this is a blessing in disguise.
Redzoe
I'm currently in therapy and only this morning our session was about my rage when I mention my p/n ex. An idea I am trying is keeping a sentimental object on me at all times (its a beautiful jade fish hook). It signified strength and determination. My dad gave it too me. Unconsciously, when I mention him I rubbed the necklace and I remained calm. It may help but I do understand how much you despise your ex-rat!. X
bestrong411
It is really hard. But like zenagirl10's comments that is true. It will take time and as time passes, it will be better. Focus on yourself, your happiness and taking time to relax, reflect and let go. I started carrying rose quartz and obsidian stones and psychologically, I feel better. Although no abuse victim can ever forget the abuser. It is better to be safe and okay, than to be with a person who will destroy. These people are sick and have a missing element that makes normal people normal. I work in a small industry with mine and one day he will act as if he misses me and the next day ignore me in front of everyone acting as if he is better than me. There were definitely times that I was enraged with anger (and wanted to turn the tables and toy with his mind) at what he did to me but I soon learned it was expending too much energy to try to play with a narcissist's mind. He will always win and make it seem like there is something wrong with you. The only way is to focus on yourself. Forget about the misery, trauma he caused, think positively, act as if he doesn't exist and rise up. I struggled for almost 2 years, still struggling and thinking WTF happened to me?? Finding a hobby would help, try crystal healing. :) The more I read, the more I believe. And the more blogs you can read about whenever you have questions/thoughts, the better. It will educate you and help you on your journey to healing. And if he is with someone else, he is only doing the same thing to that person as well. Read about crystals and energies, it is enlightening and fun. :D
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