Narcissist Trauma Survival and Recovery Community Group
Support for those anyone who is or has been in a relationship with a narcissist. Together we are much stronger than any of us would be alone. A place for non-judgemental mutial support, advice, and comfort.
I am up too late, but I wanted to read and write a bit and see what is going on with other folks ... I have Court in the morning for secondary education support and I think, turning my judgment into a number. Since I don't KNOW of any handy cash NH may have, I am trying to think of how a settlement might be framed that would not "short me" ...
BUT ... I got a copy of the appraisal that he wanted done, as he insisted we have no equity in the house, it actually came in at the high end range of the one done two years ago ... meaning we have approximately $50k in equity. That was good news as I know the market and in particular, this area has been hard hit by price decreases and many foreclosures. The appraiser noted the market (in the area) is "trending up", so that was one good thing ... I have been sweating, wondering what happens if it went way down? My brother just divorced and he is fairly shrewd, he did have an appraisal, but also noted areas needing repairs, made those and deducted costs ... he kept the house .. he is coming here to visit before the girls head to college, so I will probably ask him for more pointers, plus his shrewdness will keep me on my toes as far as possible "other side" tactics and trains of thought, probably.
The attorney's office called and there were a couple of checks for me to pick up ... from the fire insurance. I HAVE been sweating there as I have been skimming the bottom of the pond, so to speak, at times. One of the checks I had turned over was 2 years old; I was pleasantly surprised to find a newly drawn one so I had no trouble making a deposit. Sadly, one of the checks mostly goes to attorney, but I think I am totally going to "splurge" and treat myself to a foot massage soon and buy some contacts, since I destroy glasses too easily. Next time I get glasses, I AM getting prescription safety glasses; I was tempted before, but my most recent pair are less than a year old and the stems and everything are every which way . Oh, yeah, I guess I need to get one of those little "plungers" (?) because I can't get contacts in or out of my eyes to save my life ... embarrassing.
AND, my daughter is in a MUCH better mood. She apologized, told me she loves me, that she had been overwhelmed by finding out what was happening and as she put it, "needs to do something with my anger". We talked and played with her kitten and it was a lot more relaxed .... YAY!!!
BUT ... I got a copy of the appraisal that he wanted done, as he insisted we have no equity in the house, it actually came in at the high end range of the one done two years ago ... meaning we have approximately $50k in equity. That was good news as I know the market and in particular, this area has been hard hit by price decreases and many foreclosures. The appraiser noted the market (in the area) is "trending up", so that was one good thing ... I have been sweating, wondering what happens if it went way down? My brother just divorced and he is fairly shrewd, he did have an appraisal, but also noted areas needing repairs, made those and deducted costs ... he kept the house .. he is coming here to visit before the girls head to college, so I will probably ask him for more pointers, plus his shrewdness will keep me on my toes as far as possible "other side" tactics and trains of thought, probably.
The attorney's office called and there were a couple of checks for me to pick up ... from the fire insurance. I HAVE been sweating there as I have been skimming the bottom of the pond, so to speak, at times. One of the checks I had turned over was 2 years old; I was pleasantly surprised to find a newly drawn one so I had no trouble making a deposit. Sadly, one of the checks mostly goes to attorney, but I think I am totally going to "splurge" and treat myself to a foot massage soon and buy some contacts, since I destroy glasses too easily. Next time I get glasses, I AM getting prescription safety glasses; I was tempted before, but my most recent pair are less than a year old and the stems and everything are every which way . Oh, yeah, I guess I need to get one of those little "plungers" (?) because I can't get contacts in or out of my eyes to save my life ... embarrassing.
AND, my daughter is in a MUCH better mood. She apologized, told me she loves me, that she had been overwhelmed by finding out what was happening and as she put it, "needs to do something with my anger". We talked and played with her kitten and it was a lot more relaxed .... YAY!!!
Hugs,
T.
Just a thought, my NH broke his glasses yesterday and thought he would have to spring for new ones at a cost of several hundred dollars. He went to three stores trying to get the glasses fixed . . . no luck, . . . until one cashier finally told him to look for a glasses repair shop not just a place that checks eyesight and orders or makes new glasses. Wouldn't you know there was a glassess repair shop only a few blocks away. They were able to put on new stems (the part of the frame that goes over the ears) for only $25. You might want to call around, I know you live in a very rural area, but you might just find someone who actually "fixes" glasses. That way, you would have more money left over for the foot massage and maybe even car repairs. Hugs.