Hi, I was reading the stuff for guys (how to screw the woman) and I came across a really interesting tidbit that I thought I would pass along. It might not be extremely practical, but if you can do it, or another tip that was a brainstorm I got because of it, it might help a bit when you are looking for attorneys (hopefully you are not, but in divorce seems useful at least to protect yourself, as I learned the "very" hard way!).

The suggestion was to actually go to Court and watch the attorney at work! Many attorneys will have a free or reduced cost consultation, so you can get at least an idea of whether you might be comfortable working with them, and possibly get some idea of what costs might be like ... but that tells you nothing about how long things will take, how effective they are or anything else. But if you do go in for a consultation, ask them when they will next be in Court representing a client ... and then go in and watch and listen. You can make a more informed decision, possibly, by seeing how they handle themselves and the opposing attorney (or pro se party).

Another thing you can check into ... in my state, we can check a lot of Court stuff on-line now, although not every County is completely in the system yet. But there is a service that you can sign up for through the company that maintains the electronic Court records; the one in this state has several features that have been well-worth the small amount of money ....when NH filed the divorce, I signed up to have the case "followed". I think it cost me about $40. Every time something is filed in the case, I get an e-mail notification and can go to the case and find out whether an order was entered, or whether his attorney filed something in the case that I should be aware of. Since he was filing paperwork accusing me of abuse and all kinds of other stuff early on, that was extremely helpful. Often, I could get the papers a lot faster by going to the Courthouse the day after getting the e-mail and requesting our file.

The other nice thing about the on-line Court service is that you can, with the one here, do something like 6 searches a month for free (they just started this in the last year or so) and see at least limited details about a case. For example, NH was charged with Invasion of Privacy in conjunction with violating the protective order. So I could see some details about that case as well for no extra charge. You can do a search by clicking on an attorneys name and the service returns a list of all of their active cases ... you can see whether they truly handle a lot of the type of case you are thinking to hire them for. NHs best friend was divorcing his wife and he let it slip that the wife has the same attorney as I do ... so I did a search for that and was able to look at how many actions occurred before the finalization. That gave me to understand that normally, my attorney is not going into Court every moment or trying to do all kinds of crazy things ... of course, it doesn't tell me everything and though I know the wife, I haven't gotten hold of her to ask her how satisfied she was.

An attorney I used previously was in there, so I checked her list and it appears she is suing a lot of people (I'm guessing former clients, for fees) and people are suing her. That would be a tip off that maybe that is not the attorney you want. I left her and she tried to get me to pay more; I sent her a letter back and that was the last I heard ... which does not normally happen with attorneys, if you really owe them money ... we had a falling out after she wanted me to sign some 17 page or so contract that she also would not allow me to remove from the office to "think over".

Also, if you know an attorney, even slightly, in any capacity, ask them who they would want to represent them in the type of matter (probably also people who are not attorneys but deal with Court, sometimes this may be someone at work, HR or other depts). It might be more helpful than a shot in the dark, especially if you ask "why". Effectiveness, fairness, etc would be good reasons. I know sometimes it can be smarter to pay more for quality and if you ARE getting quality, likelier things will go well.

Finally, if none of these tips are helpful or you don't have on -line access where you are but maybe know some folks who've gotten divorced, you can go into the Court and ask to look at the file. There may be a lot of jargon in there that isn't familiar, but likely you can grasp, by how thick the file is and what types of entries ... how contentious, costly and such the process is ... you can also go in and ask for your file, if you are in the process. This can often be enlightening, as when I went in and looked at our first 2 divorce files, I found stuff I wasn't aware of ... that helped pieces fall in place. This is often an elaboration (or paper evidence along with) of papers you might have previously received. In any case, it can often be illuminating. Plus, the judge's notes and such.

Whether you are pro se or have (or get) an attorney, it can be helpful to go to the Courthouse and get a feel for it, too. I know that often, the Clerks will be quite helpful if you are pro se and a decent person. They are not allowed to give legal "advice" but have been helpful to me in past in terms of getting the right forms, listening through what you are trying to accomplish and even looking over your forms and pointing out anything missing, etc.

If you know you will be dealing with child support (especially if it will be for a number of years), MAKE SURE to find out WHAT papers need to be filed with the Court if the person isn't/doesn't pay at some point. Normally, I think this will be "an information in contempt" and it refers to Contempt for an Order the Court has already made (there is also something called "Standing Orders" that, unless the Court otherwise specifies a deviation, all parties in the state can use as guidelines ... this will often refer to custody/visitation matters and a very general touch on more common support details for things like when "extended visitation" or medical/etc comes up. Reading through and being familiar with those can save you in legal fees, as well).

KNOWING what to file and how it needs to be filled out if support ever becomes an issue can also save you a lot in legal fees. If nothing else, you can get the paperwork filed before spending on legal fees to have the same thing done, and spend the savings on the details that may be necessary to deal with in a hearing.

One final avenue for getting good information, etc would be your state (in the US) website; I am sure other countries have something similar ... In our state, you can go to "law" and then, "family". Not only are there links to possible legal aid/pro bono clinics and attorneys, there are likely to be downloadable forms ... often put together as a package (which are often available for a fee on other sites), for couples with and without children, for example. There are also a lot of great tips, even videos, that discuss things like the impact on children and how to minimize it, separation and legal rights if you do a formal one, mediation and so on. You can also check to see if your attorney/one you are considering has ever been disciplined and why. Attorneys generally aren't supposed to get "involved" with clients and of course, they should be handling your money fairly/responsibly. Surprisingly, I have learned that many attorneys, even judges, get into problems with alcohol/drugs and this might be an area where they have been reprimanded or self-reported.

I hope some of this info is helpful. I was sort of upset with the first attorney I had, when I realized that first "property settlement" I saw wasn't enforceable in Court and caused me to make a lot of decisions I'd have made otherwise, had I known. But, it finally hit me that he probably NEVER saw it; it came in the mail to NH way back and after I'd been released from the last hospital; NH gave it to me to read and then told me he wanted to "cancel" the divorce ... I was in a state of shock already from everything I'd been through ... I thought, if I did divorce, that WAS what I was going to get ... I didn't even think of showing it to my attorney before I agreed to sign off on cancelling. Live and learn and hopefully, someone else won't have to learn the hard way ...