Hi ... I have "been away" a while, seems like. I was having computer issues and still sort of am ... I am switching to Linux because I am tired of Windows malware refusing to let me do what I want. I'm still learning it and installed it, but I have to redo as it got installed on too small of a partition. But so far, I like it a lot better ...

I think I updated on the Court situation. So let's see ...

Still a hostage .... but am trying to get info from realtors, first as to how they would handle the Court order in our decree ... as I have yet to see (after 10 months) a copy of the sales contract with our "mutually agreeable" realtor ... who has not had a showing for several months (again) and still has 3 - 4 months left "under contract". Haven't gotten any feedback, either after the few showings there have been. Last time we sold our house, the realtor had me papering and painting areas ... and such ... and the house was actually under contract about a week later.

I've been out getting more exercise (walking) as I started collecting cans during summer ... which came in handy one week when I was completely out of money, needed gas for work and some groceries ... God has been good (and some people, as well) and we have at least squeaked through all sorts of crises.

Several weeks ago, though, my younger daughter's car broke down. We knew her water pump was leaking and figured the timing belt should also be changed. The timing belt apparently broke ... but the good news ... her car has a "non-interference" engine, so a broken timing belt doesn't damage it. Bad news ... the overheating from the water pump problem apparently caused head damage BEFORE ... poor compression in two cylinders and she needs to replace the engine ... $2200. Lovely. She applied for credit at the mechanic's, but due to the educational and medical bills in her name (which HER PARENTS should have paid ... long ago) ... she can't get credit. Neither can I, thanks to BUFU boy.

We have been sharing my car ... which I need to take apart to check the brakes and replace the piston boots on ... this will be the THIRD TIME of having to deal with the back brakes. I got this car beginning of July and have already been without brakes ... I heard them making "change me" noises and so I got front brakes ... the ones that NORMALLY need replaced. Nope ... and that was during the time I was down to $0. I took a whole lot of parts leftover from the other car back to AutoZone ... and I will say, I LOVE that place ... if they had not issued me store credit for a brake line (unused, in package at least :-)) I'd bought two years previous, I'd have been SOL and without brakes at all. Anyway, one brake the whole pad was gone ... and several weeks after the first change, the pad was worn down and in a funny way ... had to change them again ... getting tired of messing with cars continually.

So we are sharing; one day a week I have to drive a 40 mile round trip to start work early as possible but no way to finish; stop in the middle to pick up daughter ... another 40 mile round trip to drop her at class and return to finish work ... fortunately, she can sometimes find a ride home ... if not ... another 40 mile trip. So, three trips when only one ... so that is costing gas ... and I am guessing that the problem with the brakes is also decreasing the miles per gallon I'm getting. Basically, I go nowhere ... because this car has been guzzling. Yay - hooo!!

Fortunately, the walks seem to be improving my spirits ...

So ex continues to talk "foreclosure and bankruptcy" with our youngest ... I believe his thinking is that if he can get HER out of the house (and with us BOTH responsible for her post secondary expenses), THEN he can get rid of me ... without selling the house, without making settlement. He said something sort of weird in Court ... that when his checks started getting garnished ... that somehow negated or changed something .... I don't remember exactly ... but that was to satisfy a two year old judgment for child support money he was supposed to turn over ... probably cost me more in attorney fees than I will ever see ... anyway. Our daughter decided to rent a place, using loan money .... she was also going to work, once she got moved. 40 miles away. She signed the lease, paid her first month's rent (October 1) and still is here ... because she now has no transportation.

Her father picked her up last week ... he was supposedly going to get a moving truck for her big things. He took her to UHaul and decided he "couldn't afford it" so no moving truck. Instead, he started crying, telling her he filed bankruptcy and he was glad she was getting her stuff out, so she wouldn't lose it when the foreclosure (in process, according to him) had the sheriffs locking us out .... I can't find any Court filings ... but I have considered that he might allow that to happen, if he believes he will "lose the house" through sale ... and get little from the sale (b/c of the equalization clause). So I have a lot to consider/deal with.

The car thing of course is not helping because there is no way, living where we do and with the whacked out work and class schedules ... that either she or I can get additional work .... at least not a "regular job".

So I have spent a good deal of time getting cans ... making a huge pile and hoping to keep it going until I have a humongous pile worth a bit ... I finally have had ONE month of not running out of money completely ... getting most of the utilities nearly caught up ...

... And one day I found this great road to collect cans on ... they were all over. I was feeling pretty good, having filled my bag to overflowing (after having to smash them, too, as there were so many). I walked back to my car ... and there were three or four GIANT bags of cans sitting by my car ... I was overwhelmed by that ... someone saw me ... and went out of their way to go get all their cans and drop them at my car ... and disappear ... having just done a huge and anonymous good deed. The only "sad" part was that my bag looked very meager all of a sudden, LOL.

So who knows ... I know that things look sort of bleak in some ways for the moment. I'm fairly sure if ex wasn't scaring our daughter all the time she'd have no major problems with living at home and going to school for now ... and working to get some savings and have a solid cushion. Lots of college students do and no shame ... I know because of the stress and the knowledge that this place is supposed to be getting sold, it's not the same as it would be if I had my own place and all this was past ... so I CAN see that even with me, there are most likely some stresses. I can't blame her for wanting out, though I really didn't like the thought of her doing the bulk through loans. But she is an adult ... I tried to make sure I covered things to consider, but I am trying not to mother hen or overprotect. I did tell her though that if worst came to worst, she can probably get released from the lease if the manager can rent the place out ... that she would still be responsible for the costs and the rent til then ... but it might free up money to help with her transportation. I'm letting her think it all through ... and just hoping BUFU boy doesn't do something else to punish me and have consequences on our daughters.

My older daughter came home crying the other day, because she has been trying to refinance her car (the one her father took her out to buy ... they went to dealer after dealer until he found one that would finance it ... $300 + a month for 5 - 6 years, plus comp/coll insurance) to replace her paid off car. She said she couldn't, because there is an outstanding bill for school on her credit. It isn't huge and I would have just paid it, because she has been figuring things out on her own ... she had decided to either refinance or get a cheaper car. But I have no money or credit, for the time being.

So we are having to use a lot of creativity and such to get through for now ... but miraculously, though there are moments and squabbles and we all probably need some therapy and a vacation (for sure!!), we are getting along pretty well. Things are not what I wish they were, but we are making some decent memories and pitching in to keep everyone and everything going.

I've missed y'all and it's funny, even with time off from the computer, doesn't seem I was getting a lot more accomplished ... so this (and a few other things) must not be using as much time as I feared ... and definitely, not a waste. I'm glad to see that some people have gotten to some better places and even though that's not all people, yet, at least there is progress and not where we were "back when". I'm sort of getting caught up, but messages and such ... if you sent me one ... I am going to have to check where I left off and such ... not intentionally ignoring ANYONE. I'm just scattered too many directions ... and have been .... for too long a time. Come to a conclusion: I have been and am expected to cope with more than one person can ... and definitely, should have too. So ... for that, I guess I am somewhat alright ... still hanging in there!