We don't have Thanksgiving in Ireland..but a lovely post all the same..and yes thanks for the reminders..so true, having got away...there is a lot to be thankful for.

Its a lovely and comforting thought..being sisters all over the world, and yes..not alone.

waterlilies, I feel the exact same about Christmas here. Also the romantic ( Mostly fake) images projected by advertising can seriously accentuate a sense of aloneness..Scenarios are conveyed that make it look like everyone else is happy and having a great loving time. (Despite the fact that many families and couples.. are having a less than great time).

Hope that you're feeling a bit better now..when we let go of the illusion of things having to be good, and accept that it is very tough, and that we are still growing and recovering, and then we can try to be kinder to ourselves.

I just posted an article, I hope that its helpful. Information always comforts me, because it validates our reality, and it helps recovery.

Belated Happy thanksgiving to you..and many thanks crazy2... for the really lovely post xx

Remember that it takes a very very special and strong woman to survive a narcissist and to survive them...

I agree..I'm also .always striving to not be so hard on myself...we're human..we feel..we hurt and we keep learning and growing..

You're worthy of great and better days ahead..think we have to remember, that all an change any time..but to attract good things..we need first to treasure ourselves..

A special cultural occasion.. alone and growing better..bit by bit..is still infinitely better... than still being hurt and involved with a crazymaking nasty cruel narc..Theres nothing that can make you feel more alone..than living with that..especially having imagined...that it would involve trust..nurturing..loyalty comfort understanding and love..and discovering..that it was none of those things..

Hugs..things will get better for all of us...in time xx

Forgetting with 'generosity' sounds a bit too inappropriately giving and kind to me.. in relation to my ex?...I'd prefer the word 'determination'.... not to ever dwell on the asshole... ever again :)

Lol :) Yes sounds much better for the ex methinks :)

Let us forget with determination those who are incapable of loving us!

Agreed!

Hugs :) x

"Look around, and see that the people you are with, are your friends and support and not your enemy. Feel the peace in your heart and don't let your mind wonder today, over the what ifs, what did I do wrong, or I wonder how he is spending his day. Smile, love, and make this day the beginning of just working on ourselves." - Thank you, I needed this today. I survived Thanksgiving for the past two days without crying or feeling alone. I was in good company of friends who love and support me, not enemies. However today was a different feeling. I felt sad, alone and memories flooding back. It made me miss that old narc and I did not like that of myself. I had an ache in my heart of remembering the way the narc was incapable of loving me and how I had falsely believed in something or someone that was so false and so wrong. Needless to say it was a rough day for me emotionally. I know I have to carry myself forward and continue to work on myself and stop worrying about what he's doing, the what if's and the could have beens. Thanks again for this wonderful group of supporters. It's good to know I'm not alone in feeling this way from time to time. It's good to know no one can tell me to "just get over it" because you all have been there and realize how difficult the healing and grieving process is. It doesn't have to stay this way forever, it will get better one day at a time : )

Thats so beautiful Nahongvita..thank you..

I have full faith and confidence in you that you will continue to move on successfully..until he is a very distant and irrelevant memory..

So true that we all here know how difficult it is..if you have left a narc..or worse..are still with one..we all go through the exact same cruel experiences..

No way an we just 'get over it'...wouldn't it be so great..if it was that simple
To me..its one step forward and one then backwards..then some days.its.two steps forward and only one back..in time.its two steps forward..and none backwards,,it keeps improving.no matter how we see it..very very thankfully..

Recovery happens..especially if we keep on learning about what we have been subjected to...and also..we need to work on self love..to work on to devoting ll the energy we once gave the narc (in relation to trying to change his crazy making hurtful behaviours) ..into out own future and well-being..

You deserve to fully let all memories and thoughts of him go..

We miss a fake image..not a real person...being involved with a real and loving person..would mean that you wouldn't be here..

We're all here because of hurtful nasty narcs..who have affected us badly..

But truth is..in time we will recover from them..and they will always be stuck with being who they are...

A mirage..a nasty fake liar..etc etc..and how sad is that..they will never know real love or friendship..
So true..it sure does..get better..one day at a time..