I'm learning this. It's really hard at first, but it does get much easier with practice. It works on so many levels...giving right back what they've given out (negation, dismissal, apathy...at least that's how they see it when it's just sheer survival tactics on our part), leaves them guessing, and gives us back our time, energy and power.

Obviously this isn't how we'd deal with conflict resolution with a non N, but there is no conflict resolution with these types. It's just conflict compounded, chaos and misery with them.

peacedreams, you are so right! There is no conflict resolution with these types. Ever. I'm learning. Thanks for the reminder.

My favorite saying on DS is "Keep your mouth shut and your ears open" . This works for me on many levels because even someone who isn't an N wants to fill the silence with words.

Trisha, isn't that weird? I used to have to go places with people from where I worked and it's true ... the silence can feel awkward. But guess it's how we interpret it?

So right about no (conflict) resolution. Once I "got that", there WAS nothing left to say ... because, as I noticed he just wanted me to say "yes" to what he wanted/demanded. If he got his way, he didn't care what I need. If he didn't same ... so what point?

I like the quote, HealingT. And that, I guess is part of the point ... have more time for things that matter and people who care or who can be helped ... making life and the world a bit better, at least.