I just broke up a few days ago with my Nbf (of 3 years) who tried to get me back. He may keep trying or not, I try to stay strong and not contact him. If you can ignore the texts, ignore them. Personally I changed my number so I dont even know he's trying to be in touch...

Like you, I miss him and I also still love him deep down, so I feel like I just cut off a limb and I have to try and live without it. But whenever I think about it I realise that I had to choose between suffering the break up, and the harassment (which will end eventually), or suffering more years of emotional abuse. I think I made the right decision (but right doesnt mean easy)... I dont know how much wrong your ex has done to you, but whenever you miss him just try remember examples of the horrible things he has done to you, or how many times he dumped you. That should help a bit... It helps me whenever I feel like calling him or being in touch again.

Also, N or not, I think that the fact your ex tells you that he wants to meet but always cancels is a sign that he doesnt care enough. As hard as it is to accept, I think you shouldnt waste your time with someone who doesnt respect you enough that they will flake on you constantly. I apply that to my friends even - flaky friends dont stay in my social network for long. You did well sending that text... dont regret it. Live your life without waiting after him.

xx

dietcokelover, Neodyme is right. The separation may hurt right now, but getting though this will be a breeze compared to living with him and his N ways for years to come. Concentrate on how you felt every time he ignored you, hurt you, disrespected you, etc....and hopefully you will be able to come to terms with the fact that you are much better off by yourself. I lived with an N for 25 years, and believe me you do not want to go down that path. Stay strong and know that you are doing the right thing by going no contact and taking back your life!
Hugs,
T.

I pretty much agree with the above and I know the "what if's" come to mind when you try not to respond ("what if he really means it", etc, etc).

Mine didn't say a WORD when we went through the first divorce, dietcoke, but once we WERE divorced and I was living on my own, 40 miles away, THEN I started getting love letters, flowers, etc. And it was true what I told him; I had to ACCEPT that you did not love me (to get through the divorce). My answer was NO to his attempts to "make a new start". If we didn't have kids, I probably wouldn't even be posting here today, THAT would have been the end. It isn't easy, you sometimes do just have to get through one miserable day after another. But they are not all like that, and as you do move farther along, new things and people will EVENTUALLY push their way into their life ... unless you are comfortable seeking out some new things to do, places to go and maybe, strike up conversations where you wouldn't normally.

I chose (and still do) to sometimes talk to people in places like the grocery or other store, gas station and doctor office. It's usually safe, you don't have to get entangled into a relationship and it can give you a boost (I know it often does me, to hear that I'm taken as an intelligent or friendly or even attractive human being and woman!). And a live support group can be really helpful too. I know Al-anon is a big recommendation if you don't have anything more specific in your area (and I hope to get to some sometime soon).

The nursing support group I used to go to was great, too, and I think it can be really helpful to go to something that addresses those in careers that are often filled by people who care (sometimes too much), because a lot of the time, there are these walls and petty wars going on in the work a day world; you can get cut off from your own and others' humanity and the "vicious" practitioners sometimes seem to be the strong. But when I started meeting other professionals in my field who were in some type of recovery, I started being able to connect again with myself and them as HUMANS. I guess I am sort of wondering, does your work "cut you off" from real human connections in some ways that maybe make this guy "more attractive" than he would otherwise be? Cause that was something I felt when I was in management and in nursing, couldn't let down my guard too much because I needed to be "responsible" a "role model" and all that. Sometimes a professional support group can help you learn some new ways of being "strong" and an "example" that don't cut you off in a way that I am now convinced is just unhealthy and hurtful. Hugs and keep going ... I know it's not an easy road!