Oh boy. Just learned that my father, bipolar narcissist, has about 3 years before his kidneys will shut down. I don't speak to him but this has me so upset. While he can't really love me, I guess I will always love him (or my idea of him from childhood?). I have been becoming comfortable with him not being in my life and this news really brings up all my sadness and hopes for a reconciliation that can't come. I have dreaded his old age (he is in his early 70s) because it brings me closer to having to accept that he can't ever be a trusted father. To top it off... Do I offer a kidney to this man who has hurt all of us so much? My first reaction was "I won't talk to him but he can have a kidney." But do I let him disrupt more of my life?