And I will be on hormones for three months on the 19 of this month

I Am here to listen. I am new to the whole transition thing. Don’t have any friends to talk to either.

Firstly your best friend has to be you. If you don't believe in you why should anyone else!
You are what you are and have been since before birth. How you think, what you feel is you. Changing clothes and name does not change you. Hormones are brilliant though, that will over time help to align all of your brain and your body.
Venting is good but don't get too angry, it becomes counter productive and twists your thinking. I have been there.
Just be careful who and where you can trust. Our biggest threat comes from organised bigots who haven't got an ounce of common sense and cannot grasp that we are the least threatening people on the planet!
I wish you well on your journey - just be true to yourself.