Hope for parents of juvenile sex offenders Community Group

I have searched every where to find a support group for mother's that have a child who has been sexually abused and now has abused there sibling. I am a mother of a 2nd generation teen who has sexually abused his younger brother. I am trying to prevent my youngest son from becoming a 3rd generation abuser. I want this to be a place where parents can come to find support...

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Redneaj 03/11/2018

Just to give you a little bit of background of the journey I am walking as a mother of a sex offender. My oldest son R is a second generation sex offender. He was brutally molested by is older half brother when he was 2 1/2 yrs old. He did not tell us until he was 4. We immediately started him in counseling. (There's a lot more to that story.) R is now 14 he has been in counseling on and off since 4 yrs old. He was Diagnosed with severe PTSD. R sexually molested his younger Brother S when he was 8 S was 3. we were all in family therapy together. We had a safety plan in place and R was never allowed to be with his brother alone. Fast forward to January 23, 2017. We had a family emergency and I was stuck at work and the boy's father was stuck out of town on the emergency. The boys were left alone for 1.5 hours. R sexually assaulted his younger brother again. I held R accountable (there's so much more to this story to tell.) At this point I am in the middle of my second D&N case R is on a deferred adjudication for 2 yrs. Even though I have DHS in my life not once have they given me a list of where I can go for support or help. I have done all the research on my own. My hearts desire is to make sure my youngest does not become a 3rd generation sex offender and to make sure parents like me have the support they need and don't have to feel like they are are all alone like I do.

LillyB 01/15/2019

You aren’t alone. My son abused my daughter. He wasn’t a victim of sexual abuse himself, at least not that I know of, but he was raised in a home of an alcoholic and all of the dysfunction of marriage and family that goes along with that. He was verbally, emotionally and physically abused and he witnessed the same abuse towards me. Ironically, he didn’t offend his half sister until after I’d gotten us all out of that situation. It wasn’t soon enough. Things were just beginning to look up for us. I was just newly remarried and looking happily ahead at the future when my daughter told me what had happened. It took my daughter almost a year to tell me. My son was charged as an adult, despite only being 15, and is now a felon and on the SO registry. I had to find someplace else for him to live. Its been 3 years since my daughter told me, I reported the things I’d learned, and my son was first arrested. It’s been 3 long lonely years. You are not alone. I’m determined to break the cycle of abuse. I’m determined that it stops here. I wish I could undo the hurt that was done to cause a 14yo to be so broken to do such a thing. I wish I could take back the iPhone I gave him that he used to access the pornography that ultimately led to his impulsive and terrible decision. I wish I could go back and prevent it all....
I’m still picking up the pieces of my family daily. Just today one of my younger children, who has suffered the trauma of the abrupt seperation from and loss of contact with a sibling he adored, climbed into the car after school in tears, fighting back sobs as he shared that he’d just been missing his brother all day. So have I, baby. So have I.
I pinch back my own tears, and we keep going. We keep forging ahead, doing the best we can in unimaginable circumstances, feeling very alone, very often.
((( Virtual Hugs)))

Redneaj 01/28/2019

Lilly,

Thank you for Sharing with me. I truly understand the pain. January 23rd was 2 years since the incident. Both of my boys have been in therapy. I want to encourage you to keep fighting for both your children. This has been a very hard road to walk but through a lot of prayer, tears, and fighting with the state of Colorado for both my older sons therapy and my parental rights. I can finally see a small light at the end of the tunnel. A lot has happened since I wrote my story. The state took my younger son and put him in foster care for a month and while he was there, there was a questionable situation with the foster dad and my son. To my husband physically abusing me and then committing suicide last September. I now live in a different state with my youngest (I was given custody back when a judge ruled that they didn't have grounds to take my son from me. ) I am still fighting Colorado for my oldest son who made the wrong decision 2years ago but the state I now live in has been very helpful and there's a good possibility that my older son can be transferred out here by the end of this year and eventually come home.
(((Virtual hugs back to you)))

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