My mom passed away on November 26, 2014 after 2 battles with breast cancer. She was my best friend, my confidant, my biggest cheerleader, and even now, 2.5 years later, I struggle. I miss her. I miss her voice, her hugs. I miss her comfort. I miss her laugh. I miss it all. She was a fantastic mom, a fantastic person, and the void she had left just feels endless. I can't help but think about what my life would be like if she were still here. Even at 35, I need my mom. No one loves you like your mother loves you......I just miss that feeling of being loved so unconditionally. Like when you live away and you go home to visit.....that feeling of comfort and love.......thats my mom. And with her gone, so is that feeling. I'm not close to many people, I'm pretty reserved, so losing not only my mom but also my best friend has left me feeling like a ship with no rudder. I have a family of my own, a good job, I see a counsellor and avail of all the grief services I can.....and still I'm feeling the loss as profoundly as I did the first day. If anything, it's worse because then I was in utter shock and now I'm fully aware that she's gone. I just can't seem to get around this massive sadness I feel. I'm not depressed in the typical sense, but my medical team agrees that I have what seems to be PTSD from the trauma of taking care of and losing my mother......how is that even possible? Her illness and death was absolutely the worst time of my life and I am 100% a different person. I just really miss her. It doesnt even seem real all the time.