Motherless Daughters Community Group
For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.
Hi everyone,
I am looking for any advice with how to cope with my grieving and pain. I am 31 years old and I suddenly lost my mom. Growing up, it was always just my mom and I. We did not have a great family, so we really only had each other. My mom was my absolute best friend. I am an only child and it feels like it is harder to go through this alone. My husband loved my mom dearly - but its not the same as how I feel. She babysat my son and was supposed to babysit at my house the day she died, when she was late, I tried calling her and did not receive an answer. When I arrived at her house, I found her unresponsive. She was only 58 years old - she had a heart attack. We had no warning signs. I just spent the weekend with her celebrating my son's 2nd birthday and she was full of life. I am having such a hard time functioning. My whole entire world was flipped upside down. I miss my mom, my heart breaks for my son, he has no clue what death is - my mom babysat him while I was at work and we spent almost every weekend together - he is so smart and knows something is different but too young to understand. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and my due date is my mom's birthday. Prior to losing her, our biggest concern was preparing for the new baby and now I am having trouble trying to function and move on. Any advice from any one with similar stories would be greatly appreciated!
I am looking for any advice with how to cope with my grieving and pain. I am 31 years old and I suddenly lost my mom. Growing up, it was always just my mom and I. We did not have a great family, so we really only had each other. My mom was my absolute best friend. I am an only child and it feels like it is harder to go through this alone. My husband loved my mom dearly - but its not the same as how I feel. She babysat my son and was supposed to babysit at my house the day she died, when she was late, I tried calling her and did not receive an answer. When I arrived at her house, I found her unresponsive. She was only 58 years old - she had a heart attack. We had no warning signs. I just spent the weekend with her celebrating my son's 2nd birthday and she was full of life. I am having such a hard time functioning. My whole entire world was flipped upside down. I miss my mom, my heart breaks for my son, he has no clue what death is - my mom babysat him while I was at work and we spent almost every weekend together - he is so smart and knows something is different but too young to understand. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and my due date is my mom's birthday. Prior to losing her, our biggest concern was preparing for the new baby and now I am having trouble trying to function and move on. Any advice from any one with similar stories would be greatly appreciated!
katyc77
Our stories are so similar, it just absolutely breaks my heart to read your post. I was 33 when Mum died, my son had just turned 3 and I was 38 weeks pregnant with my daughter ;-( We were very close as well. Everyone's journey with grief is so unique. There is so much I could say to you almost 3 years on, but the shock of your Mum's death is so recent, I don't want to overwhelm you. I can say that I was so scared how I would cope with the grief of losing Mum, and having a new baby, I was still in complete shock - but for me - when my daughter arrived I had so much love and joy it brought me some comfort, in the worst time. It took about 18 months after my daughter was born to really allow myself to grieve, but it's so different for everyone. We just have to feel the pain, when we are ready. I'm so sad for you, but it is also so beautiful that you are having a new baby that will bring you so much love. If you ever want to talk send me a message. Sending hugs at this very difficult time x
bmw2854
Please share, I already feel overwhelmed, you wouldnt overwhelm me, if anything, I think it would help me! I hope and pray that I can feel joy and love when my baby is born, right now, I am just so sad about losing my mom, when I think of having a baby and not being able to show my daughter off to my mom, it instantly makes me cry. I am not sure how to use this website...this is the first time I've ever posted on a group board. I really just need help from someone who understands where I am coming from. I am sorry for your loss as well!
katyc77
;-( I hear you, when I look at my daughter now at 2 &1/2 years old she does something every day that still makes me want to cry at the thought of Mum missing out on knowing her. I can understand and empathise with you, and I can tell you as much as you feel like the pain and sadness will overrun you and will never end.... it doesn't feel like that forever. If you have support and help around you, take it and ask for it whenever you feel you need it. When my daughter was born, it was very quiet in the hospital and when i came home. I think people stayed away because they didn't know how to help me, or thought I would want to be alone - but I desperately wanted anyone and everyone to be around me. Time felt like it had slowed down and every second that I wasn't hearing from Mum or seeing her walk in the door was agonizing. It helped when people came to visit. If you have family and friends who can be around you at this very important time that might be comforting for you. For me I found a lot of comfort here on this forum, and I also started seeing a counsellor to help me have some space and support with grief. For me the most important thing ( which still is years on ) - is taking time to be by myself to give myself space to process those emotions. When you have your hands full with a young family it's a blessing to be embraced with cuddles and love - but excruciating to not have any space to grieve and let the pain come out. I wish I could say more to comfort you. xx
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