Yesterday was one year that my beauiful mom took her last breath. I miss her so much. We had a mass in the morning and everyone came over to my house after for brunch. My friend was so great and took my little guy (3years old) for me so I could have time to myself and family. My other two boys were in school. It was really hard, b/c I find myself reliving every moment of that day last year, the last hug and kiss, her saying hello to me, and even tho we knew it would happen, it didn't make that final moment easier. My father decided at the hospital that it was time to take her home, the cancer had spread to her brain and she had been thru too much. I wish they hadn't told her, but she knew she was going home to die. I remember thinking poor mommy, all she wanted to do was to console us, she said she tried so hard to fight it and she was so sorry. Never ever thought of herself... I just miss my everyday, 10 times a day phone calls for no reason at all. My husband could never figure out what we could possibly talk about so many times. She never ever complained during her 9 month ordeal with NHL. She said if this is what she has to do to get better she'll do it. I miss her so much. Its still so hard to believe. I know "time will heal" I know that I will have happy memories replace the ones I have now. I do know that in my head, my heart just keeps me at this place, I guess I am just not ready yet. I am finally getting out, I used to be out every weekend with a sitter on hand, or my Mom who always loved to stay with the kids and sleep over and have breakfast with us. She made everything so easy, with her words, actions ... just everything. I am late getting my little guy to school today. I am going to try to smile today, and honor happy thoughts and memories of my mother. Wish me luck. Thanks!!@
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