Motherless Daughters Community Group

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.

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mymompia 04/04/2008

Yesterday was one year that my beauiful mom took her last breath. I miss her so much. We had a mass in the morning and everyone came over to my house after for brunch. My friend was so great and took my little guy (3years old) for me so I could have time to myself and family. My other two boys were in school. It was really hard, b/c I find myself reliving every moment of that day last year, the last hug and kiss, her saying hello to me, and even tho we knew it would happen, it didn't make that final moment easier. My father decided at the hospital that it was time to take her home, the cancer had spread to her brain and she had been thru too much. I wish they hadn't told her, but she knew she was going home to die. I remember thinking poor mommy, all she wanted to do was to console us, she said she tried so hard to fight it and she was so sorry. Never ever thought of herself... I just miss my everyday, 10 times a day phone calls for no reason at all. My husband could never figure out what we could possibly talk about so many times. She never ever complained during her 9 month ordeal with NHL. She said if this is what she has to do to get better she'll do it. I miss her so much. Its still so hard to believe. I know "time will heal" I know that I will have happy memories replace the ones I have now. I do know that in my head, my heart just keeps me at this place, I guess I am just not ready yet. I am finally getting out, I used to be out every weekend with a sitter on hand, or my Mom who always loved to stay with the kids and sleep over and have breakfast with us. She made everything so easy, with her words, actions ... just everything. I am late getting my little guy to school today. I am going to try to smile today, and honor happy thoughts and memories of my mother. Wish me luck. Thanks!!@

deleted_user 04/04/2008

I wish you much luck with your happy thoughts and memories today and from here on. I am sorry that you are reliving this but it sounds like you honored your mother with lots of love on the anniversary of her passing. Your mother sounds like mine, worrying about the rest of us up to her last breath also. Apologizing for not being able to fight the cancer anymore. I only wish I could be half the woman my mother was. We all move through this process at different paces and in different ways. I know my mother and yours would want us to remember the happy days and not be sad, but it is really hard I know. I try to remember this but it is so hard most days. Wishing some peace of mind for you today and many happy memories. Sharon

deleted_user 04/04/2008

For me today is 6 months. And your right it fells like an hour ago. I cant stop the pain that keeps overcoming me. And I have to fight it. I feel like iam becoming a pain to my husband and family. More of a downer. So, iam trying to keep a happy face when iam around everyone. that is what this site is for. To whine to say I want my mom back!!!!!!!!I know I can nevr have that but like you I do hope to find some peace with it. I do hear that one day I will be able to remember her and smile not cry. When I will find that day who knows. But, I would love to get there. and not feel like this anymore. I to wish you luck with your happy thoughts. Shelly

deleted_user 04/04/2008

It's nighttime here, but wanted to say I hope you were able to measure success in your day; in your quest for happy thoughts and memories. If today had been your 1 year wedding anniversary, no doubt you would have spent it "reliving every moment of that day". It makes sense that you would do the same with another even in your life that was so profound. An event that literally, will alter the rest of your life. I think it's wonderful that your Dad had that opportunity to take her back home. My Mom wanted to be at home but, because my father had, had surgery because of Lung Cancer, we knew he wouldn't be able to continue to take care of my Mom at home - so, we had to move her to a nursing home. I NEVER, EVER thought, in a million years, I would allow my Mother to be put in a nursing home. Anyway, particularly if it's something you Mom wanted, I think it's wonderful you Dad did that.
Know that all who read your post are thinking of you today and wishing you many more days of continued "luck" with your thoughts and memories.
M~

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