my mom passed 4 yrs ago june 9, 2011.i do know when you have dream about only you and her, its a visitation from her like she was able to connect with you in some way because your grieving was stopping her from getting through to you. she still is as alive as you and I are. i've had spiritual experiences unbelievable. she's just no here in body, but she is alive on the other side. we don't die, we live on. there's a book by randy alcorn its called Heaven (touch points) this may comfort you. if you need to talk, just put me in as a friend and send me a message and i will get back to you. take care

I really resonate with all of the pain you have shared. I lost my mom 22 years ago and I still get blindsided by the pain and heartache. I also have dreams about my mom although less than before. My dreams consist of me trying to get my mom to talk to me and she ignores me. Sometimes she has changed her phone number or started a new life and refuses to contact me. I find myself trying to call her and then yelling at her for not coming to see me. I always wake up feeling sad and frustrated. I will say that as the years have gone on the pain is not as searing and doesn't take my breath away as before. But, I realized that I don't ever want the pain to go away because I'm afraid if it does I will forget about her. The pain reminds me of the places she lived inside of me. The pain is actually comforting now if that makes any sense. I'm sorry you were left alone with such a hard decision to make. I hope you will find peace as times goes on as you did everything you could.

My mom's life just recently departed. She was my best friend. I am 54 years old. I know some of you are so much younger than me and you lost your mother at a much younger age. But the sadness I feel is real. I didn't have children and have never been married, but my life has always been full. My mother is the kindest, most loving person ever (I will not speak of her in the past tense.). And as you know, I must now construct my life with this awful void. Looking for pointers and tips. I don't want this grieving process to be long and painful. I have don't long grieving processes before. I don't want this to be one of those times. I really don't. I want to heal. I also have a brother who is very reclusive. He was with my mother always and has never built up social skills for developing good friendships. I really worry about him. Just reaching out to anyone. I must catch my breath and go through the motions of living my life without my mother's presence.

My mother's life just recently took flight and as she joined the ancestral realm August 7th, 2015. I am very afraid of dreaming of my mother because I too am afraid of waking up and feeling that she is still alive in this realm I don't want that feeling. I would feel equally as devastated as well.

Hi Alidah,

Your message really resonated with me. I also lost my Mother to liver failure when I was 33 (Mum was 67), it was very traumatising to watch, and something that is still extremely difficult for me to process. I too was her carer and advocate in hospital and feel so responsible and guilty and confused about so many decisions. I dream of Mum often as well, for a long time when I dreamed of her she was unwell, and not herself. Now I often dream of her and she is just there in the background, and sometimes I fill her in on all of my news, sometimes we hug, sometimes she gives me advice. I love these dreams, and yes it is terrible to awaken back in that void of life without her. Most days I still feel completely lost, alone, and mostly frightened that I will never get my life back. Never find real joy and peace like I had in my life when Mum was alive, but I have to hope and trust that this journey will lead us back to happiness, that time DOES heal all wounds. I beat myself up so much that I feel so heartbroken and sad so much of the time, and struggle to feel joy. I have 2 beautiful kids, a great husband, friends - and they all want to see me back to my old self, and I just can't find my way.... You are not alone x

Your Mother is with you,alive in Heaven and is trying to come through to you that she is ok and you would not have hurt her and you made the best descision with her health. You are right that you wouldn't have wanted her to be a machine,if there was no hope,that proves your love for your Mother and she knows that. The dreams are so real becasue she lives. Death is just a transition to a beautiful beyond this one and which someday in time you will join her and never be apart again. For all eternity together,so its not like you won't ever see her again or be with her again. Quiet your mind and talk to your Mother,she is listening.
Angela1932

I lost my mother 6 years ago I was 14 to kidney and liver failure as she suffered with depression and turned to alcohol and it was very tough as I was young and didn't know how to help. I can completely relate to you here for the first couple of years I has the same reoccurring dream that my mother wasn't dead and she hated us for thinking that she was dead and then she walked back through the front door and I used to wake up at that point and ball my eyes out because I wished she would walk through the front door again. Don't worry the dreams will go away! Stay strong love and light

Much like Hayley I also lost my mother to depression and she turned to drugs. I also wish I could've helped as it was my dream going up to become successful and give her the life she wanted. I cry almost daily as I get older having her gone becomes more and more painful. I'd give anything in the world just to hug her again and be in her arms. She loved me unconditionally. Her love was gentle, it was warm it was kind. Unlike any love I feel I could ever experience again. I have no mother figure in my life. My days are cold, my days are lonely. But I have refused to allow this adversity to overcome me. I've sought out counseling for the first time recently. And joining this group is just another step for me. Getting closer to God is also helping me through. I have gotten closer to my father who is also doing his best to make me feel loved. It just may be one of the worst emotional pains you'll ever have to endure, but never give up on yourself and healing your heart. Don't allow the pain to overcome you as I nearly did. I suffered depression for a while. I lack so much motivation nowadays. But I can only get stronger from here, as can you sweetheart. I will keep you in my prayers

Hello Alidah -- I feel for you darling, I have dreams that are often similar. I really enjoy seeing my Mom and we talk and hug and I feel her really being there, talking to me, I have the comfort of being with her once more -- although in the back of my mind, I know she is gone. In these dreams, I often feel like I should tell her she's gone because she doesn't know. Then, lately, I stop myself and just enjoy being with her. I've had lovely visits with her in my dreams. Just yesterday, she was there, and after being sick the last year of her life, I got to see her all well and happy, smiling and talking to me -- it was wonderful. Are these visits real? Why not? Of course, my wonderful Mom would find a way to see me, we were best friends. I feel she misses me like I miss her.

And so I'm saying that maybe your Mom misses you too. That's why you dreamed of her. Try to keep an open mind, when you wake up, say goodbye and you'll see her later. Try to be happy for that connection, whether it's real or not (we really don't know).

I lost my mom on April 4th 2015 and it feels like its unreal she was doing so well she beat breast cancer in 2013 and then in August of 2104 it came back more aggressive in her liver. My mom is a Godly woman so she never gave up hope she thought that she would beat this. The doctors told her she was getting better. Then she took a turn for the worst and she passed away less than a year after the diagnosis. I dream about her all the time. I actually prayed that she would come in my dreams it feels so real but it gives me so much comfort when I see her, she was my best friend and she and I are talking and laughing and some dreams she is sick but she up and walking and being herself. I was there when she took her last breath and sometimes I regret seeing that because thats my last image of her and it makes me cry instantly. I try to think of happier thoughts. My dad and her was together for 45 years of marriage and he is remarried again (thats another story) however, my mom and I had a tight bond. My brother was there and he was very close to my mom she was the Rock of the family. So i pray she stays in my dreams it lets me see her again, i am disappointed when I wake up but i still feel comfort knowing she is there with me. I feel her all around me.

I lost my mother October 30, 2015. And the dreams are painful. The one that happens the most, is the replay of the night the hospice nurse called to tell me she'd passed. I usually wake up screaming in that one. I haven't had any pleasant dreams, at least not ones I remember. I remember that night so clearly sometimes and sometimes it's just bits and pieces. I remember the nurse asking if we wanted to come and see her before they removed her to prepare for the funeral process and I was adamant, yes I'll be there. My sister was holding my hand as I entered the room and I saw her and I stopped, my feet wouldn't move any farther forward. I am asthmatic and I immediately started hyperventilating. I remember thinking, that's not her, that can't be her. I was just here earlier today and that's not her. I"m glad I went because I don't think that I would have been able to accept it properly if I hadn't. She was cremated. We saw her one more time at the funeral home before the service and even then I could barely look at her. I continue to march through the paces of my life. I get up, I go to work, I come home, at some point in the evening I cry and then I go to sleep. And I start all over the next day. I'm finally eating regularly if not healthily. I was finally sleeping through the night about a month ago. That's about when the dream of the nurse's call began too. I'll be 44 next month, and the thought of not seeing her on my birthday is unreal. She was only 69 years old, 69 yrs, 1 month and 5 days. Too young. And yet she suffered so much in her life that I can't help but know that she is no longer in emotional or physical pain. It's a selfishness, I guess, that I need her to be HERE. God, I miss her so much.

I agree with angel 1932. when we're young we don't think spiritually but as we get older spirituallity just comes in our minds. yes, your mom has moved on just as we will some day, its not the end but a new beginning with God. My mom used to say we're only here on borrowed time. when my mom was in ICU, she saw my dad, her eyes closed and said omg walt (that was his name) and then she said do you see that woman standing at the foot of my bed I said no who is it, then she said AVE MARIA the Blessed Mother. when we came home from the hospital i told my cousin who came here from calif about what she said and he said my aunt, his mom, said the Blessed Mother was off to the side standing there waiting so you see, the ones left behind are suffering but their not anymore. This life is not the end, live as best and as good a life as you can here because like my mom said we're here on borrowed time. May GOD bless you and be with you through your loneliness and heartache. tc