Motherless Daughters Community Group

For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.

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Grief and the Empty Nest

RaquelS
RaquelS
Hi everyone,

I am having a hard time grieving for my Mom and Sister and at the same time having the "empty nest syndrome". I am not married but I do work and keep busy but if I have one free minute, I fall to pieces! I cry to my oldest daughter because she is the most "adult like" so far and then I feel bad for crying to her! UGH I dont want to be a downer to my friends or others relatives. My poor daughter hears it all!!!!
Does anyone going through this too?
deleted_user
deleted_user
You've certainly been dealt quite a blow. I read your profile. I know its hard to be strong when life has given us grief, but reach into the depths of your heart and soul, and pour those problems and worries into the good Lord's hands. It may take awhile, but you'll eventually be strong enough to deal with everything. Hang in there. I know you can do it. Hugs...
deleted_user
deleted_user
My mom died unexpectedly last year. I was her "go to " person since she didnt drive. We spoke everyday on the phone, and I was the person to take her to all her dr. appts. After her death I had so much free time on my hands I didnt know what to do with it. This Sept. my daughter will be heading off to college and moving out. What I thought my life would be, is now very different. I have no mom to take care of and my daughter is leaving. It's all very strange.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was my mom's full time 24 hour caregiver, when my dad died on Feb. 9, 2005; untill she died on April 25, 2007. I had been a substitute teacher, and a part time college student at this time. I stopped being a sub; and finished the semester that I was still in. Then after the semester was over, I did not go back.
From what you had said, I don't think your allowing yourself to grieve. You mention that you work and keep busy. You need to allow yourself to cry. The number one rule in my support group that I go to is: you do not apoligize for crying...which is hard to remember. I would suggest that you look into a Bereavement Group at your local hospital. I go to one, and it is nice to go, see, and talk to people who are going though that same thing that I am. DS is an awsome place too; but there is something to being able to talk face to face with people.
When my father died I can remember seeing my mom cry. Seeing my mom cry, and not able to do anything (except be there) tore me up.
This is easier said then done but try to minimize the amount of the "load" that you put on your daughter's shoulder. When you feel like crying, yelling, hitting, and even talking to the one who is deceased...go to your bedroom, or another room with a pillow or take a couch cushion and alot of tissues. Cry in the tissues, yell at the top of your lungs into the cushion/pillow (unless your by yourself in the house), and use the cushion/pillow to hit at.
I hope what I said above was helpful. I hope what I said was not to hard to take; I did not mean it to be. Take care of yourself.