I THINK YOUR DOING THE RIGHT THING BY WRITING THEM DOWN. I LOST MY MOM DAD AND BROTHER LESS THEN A YEAR APART. I HAVE 5 TEENAGERS. SO AS YOU COULD IMANGINE MY BRAIN IS FULL. BUT EVEN THOUGH I REMEMBER ALOT. THERE ARE DAYS SOMETHING NEW POPS INTO MY HEAD. I ALSO HAVE A HARD TIME AT CHRISTMAS. MY MOM LOVED CHRISTMAS, I HATE THAT I GET SOOO DEPRESSED. EVRY YEAR I TRY TO FAKE MY WAY THUR. BUT MY FAMILY KNOWS. JUST HANG ON TO ALL THE MEMORIES YOU HAVE. AND MAKE NEW ONES WITH YOUR LOVED ONES. ONE DAY THEY WILL BE ASKING THE SAME QUECTIONS YOU ARE. SO GIVE THEM ALOT TO REMEMBER. WE NEED TO HAVE THEM REMEMBER US HAPPY AND STRONG. NOT SAD AND DEFEATED. IF YOU EVER NEED ME JUST MESSAGE.

I think writing them down is a great idea. You can also talk with friends and family who feel close to her; they'd probably love for someone to open the door to those memories and ask to talk about her. Stay strong, and lots of hugs.

I agree, writing your memories down in a journal. I also started a photo album of my mom.
You could add comments to that as well.

I am sorry you loss your mom at such a young age.
This will be the second holiday without my mom. Not sure how I am going to get though. Last year was just a blurrr, and my dad was still recovering from his injurys. I did not know about DS back then. I have a feeling I will be lean on DS alot over the next couple months.
Lots of hugs!!!
Deb

I love the idea of writing the memories down. I'm so sorry you lost your mother... and no the memories never fade. I lost my Dad when I was 7 and I still have very vivid memories of him.

This will mark the first holiday without Mom and Pop, my step-dad. I tried to start some kind of tradition but now everything is all new again. I have no idea how I'm going to get through... but WE will make it....TOGETHER:)

Great idea about writing them all down cause I'm finding it hard these days to even picture her face and I can't even remeber what her voice sounded like! It sounds so stupid! I sometime put my wedding video on to see and hear her voice but that's only to remind me. The video was 10 years ago and she looks so healthy in the video that sometimes I can't grasp that that is acutally mum becasue I only remember her when she was ill.

The good thing is, is that I always talk about he with my brother, dad and husband and sometimes we do laugh about the silly things she used to do.

God I miss her

I forgot to add that last year was the first Xmas without Mum and it was horrible. But I have made a point this year to really try and enjoy Xmas. I am hosting Xmas this year so I've bought all new Xmas stuff and will doll up the house just like mum did. I want to make it a really nice one for my kids and my family.

I just want it to be a happy one and I am going to try my best to. That's my goal!

Oh VM thats what I am worried about. My Mum died 2 years ago and I cant remember the sound of her voice. Oh how I wish I had a tape of her talking. My Dad died a year ago and i can still remember his voice.Its really breaks my heart.
I think the journalling is a great idea. I wish I had done that. Maybe I could start now.
At Mums funeral My eulogy started with "I can hear you now Mum ........." and I could.
What I do now though is think of what Mum might say in a particular situation. It helps me. The holidays arent great but I try and think that Mum will be celebrating with Dad (not that they were big on celebrations when they were alive) I have some old Birthday cards and Christmas cards that I gave Mum and I look at them. Gosh Im n ot being much help to you am I. But I think you Mum and my Mum are looking over us now and probably saying its ok to grieve for me but you got to keep on living and caring for those that are close to you now.
Hugssssssssssss Deb

I want to thank everyone for replying. I didn't really think i would get that many replies. Knowing people understand how you feel is such a comfort for me. I don't feel as silly as I did before scared to forget memories. Unfortunately, when my mom died I decided to run as far away from everyone as possible. And now my family is not as close as we were. I have 3 older brothers but we don't talk as often as we should, so that leaves no one to talk with about her. I think that would help if I could. Since I have almost isolated myself (not on purpose, I just needed to get away and get focused at that time) so I don't have to fake that it doesn't bother me that I'm the only motherless daughter.

Having support on DS is a huge help to me. I love to write so it allows me to express things I want to share and talk about and the things I just want to write down. I'm hoping by the grace of God that these holidays go by good.
Thank you all again for your support and replies!

After 24 years, I still have vivid memories of my mom. We could never forget our beautiful moms even if we tried. It is funny now because I will have memories of my mom when I see my kids do something that reminds me of her or if I say something that my mom would have said. It is amazing how we retain so much information. Keeping a journal is a great idea to keep log of memories. I have found also talking to my sister about memories is meaningful. We sometimes laugh about how things were growing up with mom. The holidays are rough for me. I thank God for my kids because I am motivated to celebrate because of them. I also keep my mom's memory alive through them. Although they never met mom, they know "Grandma Carol". Just know that it is okay to cry and miss your mom but it's also okay to enjoy your life and celebrate the holidays. I pray that you have a blessed holiday season and find comfort in the memories of your mom that you do have.

Wow - how common this stuff all is. My brother and I get scared that we are not remembering her the way we should. In fact my brother and I said that we can't remember anything before the cancer/death of our Mother. We can't grasp anything beforehand in our lives. I am guessing that its the trauma of all this watching her die day by day and not having her here just traumatized us. How I miss her so much though I know I will never forget her but just the essence of her being I am afraid I will lose too.

Marci