Another Mother's Day comes and goes. I usually avoid the outside world, which isn't too hard right now, but social media is also an emotional trap. All the pictures of happy mother's accepting their handmade cards and cakes. Flowers and smiles. I want to feel happy for everyone else but I just end up feeling more depressed. Another year without my mom. Another year without her smile, her laugh, her hugs, her love. I feel so lost without her.

I feel like I have to shield the world from my own grief not wanting to bring them down. I was standing in line with a bunch of roses and the man behind asked if they were for my mom. I simply said yes. He persisted asking if we were going out to do something on mother's Day. I said yes. He asked what. I said I'm going to put them on her grave. His face dropped and he didn't say anything after that. I didn't want to go there. I felt like an A hole. Am I?

Happy Mother's Day.