Motherless Daughters Community Group
For any daughter who has lost their mother, whether through Death (if it's been one day ago or 40 years ago) or Abandonment, (i.e.-drug abuse, mental illness, physical or emotional abuse, etc.) and is working through the grief process. This group provides unconditional support and understanding from women who have also lost their Moms and who truly care.
First I am feeling not sure that I belong here. The other posts I read sound mostly like women who lost their moms to death from illnesses like cancer. Also it seems like many of these women were close to their moms in ways that I will probably never understand.
Also their are people whose moms are horrible and abusive and obviously in those cases their is a great sense of loss.
Well, my mom is not dead, nor is she horribly abusive so I can't say that those are the reasons why I am here.
In fact sometimes my mom can be very loving and supportive which makes it even harder to say that I am a mother less daughter since she has tried to be there for me.
The problem is that she has recently tried to turn my son against the rest of us by saying that she, her friend Donna, and my son's two friends are the only ones who care about him.
Also my son is currently living with my brother in law and sister in law because he had cancer and needed more care than I could give him when he came back from the hospital. Also I have been battling severe depression for 23 years and have not been able to take very good care of my son, Josh, so that was another reason he continues to stay with the in laws.
While my son was in the hospital battling cancer, my mom said to me that Josh believed we didnt' love or care about him, which later he denied saying. Also she said to me that he didnt' want to be around his dad which was also not true. She has always been against my husband's family for no reason at all and when my son was very young she sued my husband for custody of Josh and won. He lived with her for a year when my husband took her back to court for custody and won and got Josh back.
So there's already that history. Plus she is very childish and dramatic. She stabs people in the back after she has gained their trust. She did this to my sister recently.
Also there is the fact that I always had to listen to her problems growing up and always as an adult as well.
Finally it was decided by the on laws that they were done dealing with her. They took Josh 's phone and read all his texts from her and they all were efforts to undermine all the good we were trying to do for Josh and also were all about her bad mouthing Jamie and Carrie, the in laws, and trying to turn him against them.
So this is what I am dealing with. I can't have any more contact with her. I don't love her and she has hurt us all too much. That and she will not be seeing Josh again unless she takes us to court for visitation which she might do. Also recently Josh has said that he doesn't want to see her any more, so it is all pretty much as done deal.
So, no I am really not motherless but I feel like I am and I have never felt the kind of connection with my mom that I have read about here on this board. I can see that many of the women here were very close to their moms. I always tried to be close to my mom but have never felt close to her.
So again I don't really know if I belong here or not. If not, thanks for listening and I wll keep looking for some way to deal with this.
Either way, thanks.
Heidi
Also their are people whose moms are horrible and abusive and obviously in those cases their is a great sense of loss.
Well, my mom is not dead, nor is she horribly abusive so I can't say that those are the reasons why I am here.
In fact sometimes my mom can be very loving and supportive which makes it even harder to say that I am a mother less daughter since she has tried to be there for me.
The problem is that she has recently tried to turn my son against the rest of us by saying that she, her friend Donna, and my son's two friends are the only ones who care about him.
Also my son is currently living with my brother in law and sister in law because he had cancer and needed more care than I could give him when he came back from the hospital. Also I have been battling severe depression for 23 years and have not been able to take very good care of my son, Josh, so that was another reason he continues to stay with the in laws.
While my son was in the hospital battling cancer, my mom said to me that Josh believed we didnt' love or care about him, which later he denied saying. Also she said to me that he didnt' want to be around his dad which was also not true. She has always been against my husband's family for no reason at all and when my son was very young she sued my husband for custody of Josh and won. He lived with her for a year when my husband took her back to court for custody and won and got Josh back.
So there's already that history. Plus she is very childish and dramatic. She stabs people in the back after she has gained their trust. She did this to my sister recently.
Also there is the fact that I always had to listen to her problems growing up and always as an adult as well.
Finally it was decided by the on laws that they were done dealing with her. They took Josh 's phone and read all his texts from her and they all were efforts to undermine all the good we were trying to do for Josh and also were all about her bad mouthing Jamie and Carrie, the in laws, and trying to turn him against them.
So this is what I am dealing with. I can't have any more contact with her. I don't love her and she has hurt us all too much. That and she will not be seeing Josh again unless she takes us to court for visitation which she might do. Also recently Josh has said that he doesn't want to see her any more, so it is all pretty much as done deal.
So, no I am really not motherless but I feel like I am and I have never felt the kind of connection with my mom that I have read about here on this board. I can see that many of the women here were very close to their moms. I always tried to be close to my mom but have never felt close to her.
So again I don't really know if I belong here or not. If not, thanks for listening and I wll keep looking for some way to deal with this.
Either way, thanks.
Heidi
chil234
This is really a tough situation and it really doesn't seem as if your mom wants to have any good relationship with you or anyone else. I really can't say too much about this but I do know that the home page of DS also has other different titles or maybe you can send an email to Daily Strength in the help section and ask them to read what you wrote and maybe they'll be able to direct you. Take good care of yourself and your son and others around you, maybe you'll be able to bind together the family who seems to all be in that same mess. tc sorry I couldn't help you any further but I think totally this needs counseling all around for all of you.
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