I think I can place it to after getting married and getting pregnant. I gained a lot of weight with each pregnancy. A lot of it was the freedom to eat whatever I wanted after I got married and moved away from home. My parents both worked and didn't have much money for extras when it came to food. There was enough for meals and we didn't go hungry. But, we didn't have the extras that some families have. I didn't really start seriously putting on weight till after my last child was born. I would also get bored a lot while my husband was in the service and I'd eat out of boredom. I also turn to food when I get upset like some people turn to alcohol or drugs. Food became my drug. After becoming diabetic, I've been trying to retrain myself as to what food is all about. I've picked up crocheting and quilting to keep my hands busy so I'm not sitting, mindlessly eating.

This is a good topic! Thanks for posting this caruTH!

hugs,
Charlene

I was 8 years old and just didn't understand why my brother and sister just didn't want my ocmpany. I always felt like the outsider but always telling myself not to be "silly" and that they really did care. I wanted their friendship so much I would do anything for them which was just not good for me or them! To cover the hurt and pain of loneliness in my own family I found I could escape to books and food, they went together for me, the books took me to where a family loved me and the food just seemed to enforce the good feelings. Then I just ran to food anyway when hurt or alone!

When I was 28 I tossed them out of my life, I had spent long enough tryng so hard to please them - my life blossomed, I lost a lot of weight, was able to maintain it, had a great social life and met my husband, life was great. I thought I had found a new family but was soon disappointed as they were idiots who did nothing but cause me trouble. Then I discovered DS and OA here on DS and slowly I have been pulling myself of of the prison where hurt, pain, resentment, loneliness, unforgiveness, gossip were the walls and ceilings. Again I withdrew to my world of books and food, same old pattern! Again I've tossed them out of my life recently and am slowly recovering with the help of OA. Its strange but my sister has come back into my life and is a different person - but I am different too and now speak my mind! and as for my brother I sent him a letter recently giving him a kick up the bum for neglecting his daughter for 26 years, since she was 2 years of age. Yes my brother divorced his wife but then never bothered with his child except for paying maintenance - I have recently come into contact with her, she is lovely, and just thought it time to tie up a few loose ends in my life. My brother won't like it but hey I felt great about it. There was never anything wrong with me, it was my family who were just so different to me! Now I am more at peace than ever and just need to sort out my in-laws!

Good post and good to get that all out!

THe earliest memory was going in the garage in the chest freezer and getting a frozen twinki, suzyQ, mallow bars, hostess pies, lemon, cherry, apple, blue berry. We lived on a farm and the folks would by things in bulk from a nearby bakery which had day old baked goods. Sneaking food even to this day has been the biggest contributor to my weight. I eat when happy sad, angry, bored. Name an emotion I'll name a food for it. When graduating HS I was 6' tall and 180lbs not huge, but big. Was given a hard time by kids calling me fat ass and the like. It hurt, I would eat. Coaches in school had no time for the athletically challenged, I would spend the class hour throwing a shot put while the others played ball. So throughout my childhood I was big, not fat fat, just big. NOw I'm 55 I AM FAT 366lbs. Wondering How I could allow myself to get like this. I do know how, but where was my boundary to stop me. I appreciate the large size models saying be big and handsome or beautiful. I'm proud to large. Well the pride claim wears when 50yrs has hit and you are suffering froom diabetes, high blood pressure, Cholesterol, asthma, apnea, and hips and knees hurtinig from the tonnage I'm carrying around. Knowing this I ate a 4pack of carrying Cherry turnovers and a box of fiddle faddle. I'm not getting it. I'm gaining back what I have lost, duh. I need to get a life and a life can't include eating the way I do. Thanks for listening

I think it's been great to hear these stories. It bonds us together. Let's keep them comin'!

Just been rereading my post and I've realised that I no longer blame my family for my weight problem, they were just different to what I wanted them to be. I have friends in my life (including DS) that are like a second family to me, I am so lucky to have them. So great to just accept the differencesin my family and love them anyway, now I just have to learn to do the same with the inlaws.

Ziporah, I also have not blamed my family ever! My parents were doing the best they knew, plus obesity runs in my family and they were doing what they thought would help prevent it, but I think now we all know more what causes weight gain other than eating fat food. But I also can't look to them for support because they can be more critical than helpful. I know they want what's best for me but it's hard to look to them for help. I am talking mainly my parents. I still love them.

Another thing that has hit me on rereading my first reply is that I love myself - maybe that sounds weird but I've been told by good friends that I care about and do too much for others whereas I don't do the same for myself. I heard what they were saying but try as I might I just didn't find anything to love or like about myself. But now I realise that I can love myself, its okay to spend time and do things for myself and that I am loveable and likeable. This post has been so great for me.

I developed my addiction to food when my Mom started working nights when I was about 6 years old. My poor dad, after working hard in a laborious job all day would have to deal with me all night, and I was QUITE A HANDFUL. If I were a child these days they would have said I was hyperactive and put me on Ritalin! Well, dear Dad knew that I loved ice cream and cookies and that setting me up with a huge bowl of ice cream with a side of cookies would keep me occupied for a while. I started to equate food with love and attention. As Ziporah said in one of their posts, "Then I just ran to food anyway when hurt or alone!" and when I was BORED I will add to that statement.

I think it boils down to the summer in between my fifth grade school year and my sixth grade school year. I was 11 years old. My father worked nights and my mother worked days. My father would sleep during the morning hours. I don't remember if I hadn't been left home "alone" (Without a parent awake) before this or what. But I remember while my father slept I would sit in front of the TV and eat. I remember eating canned corn beef hash, spaghettios, canned soups, left overs, PBJ sandwiches, chips, whatever was in the house. I remember during commercial breaks I'd get up to get something new to eat. I'm sure we all know how people suggest to not eat in front of the TV because it leads to mindless eating. Well, that's exactly what I was doing! Instead of being outside riding my bike and having fun, I was inside watching TV most mornings.

When I was in the sixth grade I hurt my back and was bed ridden for about a two months. I couldn't really move, it hurt too badly. I would spend my days lying down watching TV or playing video games, and eating. I gained about 20 lbs in that time. Then when I got back to school kids starting teasing me for being the "fat kid". It really started getting to me and I began to get depressed and feel worthless. That's when I started the emotional eating. Eating to fill the "emptiness", the void that I felt. It's all been a roller coaster since then. When I am happy, I eat healthy. But when I start feeling down the emotional "need" comes back with a vengeance. I haven't been able to over come that yet.

It's a strange story for me.
When I was a kid, I was spoiled. Because I was a pretty little girl who was also clever, the adults would fawn over me and get out of their way to get me whatever I wanted. I was a good singer and would sing at contests and venues. In school, I was blessed to be able to absorb knowledge very easily, without any kind of effort. So I guess making efforts and working for something was never part of who I was. My family were nomads, and we'd move to a new city every year, so I was always the new girl in school, and I never really had friends my age, as I myself was a "small adult" and would seek the company of older people. It caused me a lot of anxiety, but I didn't want to disappoint the adults who were so proud of me in every way, and I started eating. Whatever I wanted, food-wise, I got. I have this memory of asking my grandma to cook me some eggs and to put butter on top of them so they tasted better...
I started gaining some weight. I was no longer the golden child, pretty, smart and talented, I was just the chubby kid. I was still talented music-wise; I was still quick-witted and clever, but it didn't seem to count for anyone anymore. This in turn caused me to become withdrawn and introverted, and I started spending my time locked up with a book and tons of snacks.
I still associate self-worth with my physical apprearance, to some level.
I don't know how to diet and exercise by myself, and keep motivated.
Meh! :p

Mine started at my grandmother's house. She would have sweet pickles and I loved them. I could eat the entire jar and sometimes did. I was always skinny then. I remember one aunt always said I was skinny and pale.
I got married and had my daughter. I ate a lot when I was pregnant. I know I can't blame my weight on giving birth 43 years ago. I had two more children.
I still wasn't very overweight then. After my divorce I lost weight but gained it back plus more. I moved to another state and found comfort in food.
I am a diabetic now with high cholestrol and have sleep apnea too.
I have lost 20 lbs. by going to water aerobics at the Y 2 days a week - I need to go more.
Food still seems to call my name if I am hungry or not. I went to OA for awhile. I need to say the first 3 steps more often.
Ann