I think I've tried writing this, and then stopped about four times now. It's never easy to publicly put one's self out there in the open, is it? 

My name is Leah, and I'm 33 years old. I'm 5'6", and currently weighing in at 368 pounds; however, that seems to go back and forth between gains and losses. I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. When I'm stressed or upset, I have always turned to food. Food doesn't judge you and isn't inattentive. Food comforts, and it's always there. Sure, I can blast the music, go for a walk, write, or whatever hobby sounds good at that moment; however, I always seem to turn to cookies, chips, pie...whatever sweet thing is in grabbing distance. Am I proud of it? Not at all; however, it is the facts. I have been a Beachbody member for years, but don't have the beach body. I have been on Weight Watchers for almost as long, and I struggle to watch my weight and stay on plan. It's not by any fault of the programs, or the support offered by the groups, it's me. The support systems offered by each group is immense; however, I just can't seem to connect with anyone, because I have yet to find people that are going through what I go through. All weight loss journeys are inspiring, but it helps when you find others who are at similar points in their journeys. I'm sorry, but I have difficulty relating to someone who only has 30 pounds to lose, when I have to drop the weight of a healthy person and a half to get to a healthy weight. I have difficulty hearing how people want to drop those 30 pounds to look good for summer, when I'm trying to lose weight, because I am scared to death of the health complications that I can have if I keep going down the path I'm going. I loathe looking at myself in the mirror from the shoulders down, and although I know my husband loves me and makes me feel gorgeous even at my worst, I can't help but feel embarrassed FOR him when we are out in public. This is not okay. My dad just had a stroke over the holidays, and they told him it was because of his weight, and that scares the hell out of me for so many reasons that includes seeing how I could easily fall into that path. 

So, why am I here? Like others, I am here to find like-minded individuals with the hopes that we can help each other through our journeys...the good and the bad. Like others, I am tired of everything you've read above, and I want to make the changes to be a healthier me. I am hoping to find all of that here.